manliness and japanese commercials

o they mix so perfectly, i dont know why but perhaps its the director's, nobuhiko obayashi, uncanny eye for the absurd, campy and idealistic pop imagery... or maybe its charles bronson, cuz hes a g and an american hero as shown through the death wish series.

either way, the recent old spice commercials are obviously derivative. and desperately put too much effort into recreating mandoms unparalleled degree of excellence


for more obayashi madness ... see House

everybody from new york lives in the suburbs

I feel like this is mostly true. Only foreigners and provincial Americans live in the city. Kind of a gross overstatement but the odds of hearing a new York accent are probably better in long island or westchester than Manhattan. I guess large parts of the outer boros are exempt. True grit was sick, need to rewatch the john Wayne one and see which is better. I got food poisoning and have been largely bedridden for the Christmas. Whatever, Christmas is a humbug.

Vincent LaGuardia Gambini

How good is My Cousin Vinny. SO fucjking good. Fred Gwynne just kills it. Marisa Tomei seems to be made out of charisma. Obvi Joe Pesci, hes great. shit even the prosecutor guy is great. what a heartwarming, funny, silly movie. i mean marisa tomei is just the best. her petulant guidette w/ playful goodnaturedness and sharp wit is just fantastic. ralph macchio does nothing whatsoever, but thats fine. i cant say enough good things about the movie: my cousin named vinny.

Marisa Tomei still fueg

Fred Gwynne smoking weed while in his Munster makeup

Joe Pesci in an outtake from MCV

Ralph Macchio in the present Day

As an aside i had a teacher who was like Ralph Maccio's uncle. 

Ralph Macchio's uncle "mr. macchio" was in his final year as a teacher, the year i had him, and he had largely given up. he just told stories about growing up in the bronx and taking the el to yankee stadium and seeing mickey mantle and shit like that. at christmas he sang "dominic the donkey" on the PA system. he fucking nailed it tho.

carlos's addiction

wooooooooooooooooooooooooo (shes 18 now guys... woooooooooooooooooooooooooo)

So this is Christmas

John Lennon was pretty chill, I think. Of all of the beatles, he and Ringo Starr seem the chillest. Paul McCartney seems like a tightface prick, and George Harrison seems largely inconsequential. It is really difficult to acknowledge the Beatles for anything, because they are one of the darlings of almost all lamestreamers. In fact i will not be saying anything positive about the Beatles as a group, or their music here, so don't get it twisted. John Lennon did the Christmas song, which i heard on the radio today, which i guess is appropriate every year given the anniversary of his death, and the fact that Christmas is coming up.

yeah it's a nice song. Christmas is anything but chill. It would be way chiller if it were like a more religious Thanksgiving. It should be like Thanksgiving: I am thankful that baby Jesus was born so that he could later die, and in doing so save me and everyone else. That was pretty nice of him. Even though baby Jesus is reported to have recieved stupid, expensive, and largely useless gifts, I doubt this actually occurred. I think the whole bit about the presents was inserted later by some kind of retail lobby. Christmas is when all of the evil corporations in the world team up to act like it is normal or appropriate to go into debt, so that consumer goods might be given to people you know or are related to.

I imagine Baby Jesus was thinking "would you fuck off with the groveling and the presents, now this is awkward. I'm related to GOd, why the fuck would I need some stupid shit like frankensence and myrrh. ok gold whatever, im not some fucking guido. Seriously, I being a part of the trinity and all that don't give a shit about your presents I could just make whatever I want with my godly powers"
This is the essentially stupid part about gifts. Why act like gift buying is commuting or somehting. on the radio theyre like "for all of you out there doing your holiday shopping, blah blah gettin it in." making excuses for excess is just sad, but normalizing it is practically evil. If the present is everything a person could ever want, great, now they are spoiled and indulged like a goddamn prince(ess). If the gift sucks and they hate it, now they feel guilty for hating a gift. How long do you wait before getting rid of it? Do you need to wear the shitty, ugly clothing in front of the gift giver (I fucking wish Santa would be enforced aka anonymity, not like even when u were 8 u didnt know. This lamestream gift is from relative x or whatever, if santa were magic and real wouldnt better taste come with that?) Unfortunately most people are probably callous and unfeeling, conditioned by advertisements and Christmas specials to worship the gifts they want (narcissism/greed) And as such they wouldnt even feel guilty if I, on purpose, got them a terrible gift to make them feel bad. People wouldn't even feel guilty for recieving a gift. Fucking assholes. Im still down for the decorations and shit though. Hallelujah.

Topics for perspire

I'm am looking at a lumberjack. His beard is a mix off fall colors in
the sun. His hair become ruffled as he rubs his head. He texts until
he cannot text no more. Yet he sits, stares, and smiles at his
smarphone because he a mute to the world.


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------==========================================================================================================================================================================+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

if only i was born yesterday ... for serious

deion sanders mentors over a hundred people (whom he calls his kids) and he sends a motivational text to them all every morning.  these people include vick and ray lewis.   That is wild.  vick and ray lewis are mad crazy to begin with and now with primetime calling the shots im worried... but in a good way.

we know ray and vick are fuckin champs and dont need no support to kick ass at football but what about fools that were young and deion mentored and now are ridiculously promising... devin hester, dez bryant, michael crabtree, i think those three names shows that deion knows what hes doin.  also the fact that these guys dont give a shit about authority and are all willing to dispute their contracts for unreasonably long periods of time and try and make ridiculous amounts of money just like their mentor shows that he is teaching em good morals and ethics and other meaningless crap

though to be honest, im slightly concerned about deion... and that he is building an army of super athletic strong willed monsters (or ceos not employees as he put it) and im gonna be too damn old and lazy to be a part of it. 

hes making a private school that focuses on sports and learning.  Cuz he knows a good athlete is a smart one.  (I heard it on the T. Ocho Show - an amazingly budget but watchable tv show that is shit wrapped in seaweed and sprinkled with caviar)
Deion, after blowing T.O. for awhile, plugged his burgeoning boarding school (inspired by his youth football teams) - TRUTH (he was wearing the hoodie, im getting one)
Its an acronym and stands for some brilliant maxims... the T is Trust in god.

MuSiC iS mYy LiFe

The importance of music is generally overstated. People used to say on their myspace profiles things like: “music is my life” “i can't live without music” shit like that. Well I think they are full of shit. Things like “breathing is my life” or “i love all different kinds of water except country” would be more appropriate. For some people music really is a big deal, those people who are good at playing/composing it. But for other people who are good at listening to music? Fuck off. Music is a great tool of marketers, and indeed music is a [failing] business. Throughout the last half century music consumption was marketed and sold as a means towards coolness and establishment of a personal brand. Indeed music must be described as one of the greatest marketing successes of all time. A great deal of people partially if not completely define their very existence as a human being by their taste in music, which is, at the same time, a consumer good. No one ever defines themself by their choice in laundry detergent. “i love liquid detergent” or on the about me of their social networking profile “im really into hypoallergenic laundry powder” I don't hate music or anything, I often listen to it in the car, or when I am playing beer pong. I'm just saying, some people take it a bit seriously, like its some big fucking deal what kind of music you listen to. I care about as much about the coolness of music as I do about the coolness of socks. In fact getting all worked up about your personal taste in a consumer good is just silly. Sure it is important, but let's keep it all relevant. 

if u think your choice in music makes you cool, you actually look like this. With a matrix comic sans font. honestly. I dont even feel bad if music as a viable business fails, and there is no more mariah carey style 10000x platinum artists ever again. and fuck the rolling tones too. in fact i hope it does. no more music biz. just 3D movies, cable news and internet porn, the only choices for corporate entertainment.

leslie nielsen did a great wesley willis

tried to write some crap about what a bummer it is that he died.  Shit just sounded like some 60 min news update.  We all know naked gun and airplane were mad good cuz of his stylish delivery.  We all know he had dashingly good looks.  But do we really know how much a g leslie nielsen was.
Forbidden planet was cool and all but he pioneered the art of acting like an unaware moron.  Surprising how that shtick works in both movies and life .






oohh... what do i wish for more, to be in a sf movie with the first ever entire electronic soundtrack or be in a movie with oj simpson.

Harry Potter Gets it IN: A Review of HP 7 part I

It was only in this most recent viewing of HP that I became aware of the freudian nature of all that wand waving. A wand is a wizard's greatest tool. He needs it all the time, to perform spells and assert his wizarding masculinity. Indeed the enhanced steakheadedness of both Ron (who is looking like Ronnie from jersey shore) and H fuckin P seems out of place. Wizards don't need to be muscley to compensate for something they may or may not be lacking, they can just get the most DIESEL wand.

Isnt it curious how the word “wand” is so close to the word “wang”? Maybe it is not a coincidence. Indeed the source of Dumbledore's power and respect in the magical community is revealed to be (amongst other things) his possession of the “ELdEr WAnD” a ludicrously large and potent wand of fine vintage. In modern vernacular it would be called the “daddy dick”, while magic peoples reverentially refer to it as the “deathstixxx” The female wizards, hereto-forth known as “witches” or in the modern vernacular “wiccans” have reached a satisfying conclusion for the freudian problem of penis envy: they are allowed to buy their own functional Wan(g)d. Indeed when Voldemort (V-mort) needs to use another wand, he goes after the guy he knows to be a big punk, Malfoy dad, but even he was like “seriously bro? You need my WAND?, I kinda wanted to keep that you know, for future use”

I think that when I read the books the wand imagery wasnt as prevalent, but in this movie there more wands on display than an NFL locker room. There were other awesome parts of the movie though; how sick was that Brown Bunnyesque scene in the woods where HP and Emma Watson were all naked and shit. Speaking of Hermione; hasnt she kind of eclipsed the other 2 in terms of stardom? Daniel “the world's most wooden and awkward dancer” Radcliffe should count his lucky motherfuckin stars that he got to be in 8 such fine movies. And Rupert Grint, how shamelessly you have abused steroids, do you want to be a ginger version of the rock or something? The house elfs are every bit as annoying as Jar Jar Binx. I hate emotional scenes with fake ass CGI characters, I wanted to laugh when the tiny weird looking thing died in HP's arms, it looked so dumb.

The funniest bit probably is how easily HP and co. get swooped by the snatchers. V-mort himself rolls up on Harry like a flying beast from hell, shooting death spells at him, and Harry casually is like “oh shit dogg, fuck off” But when some fucking euro-trash gangsters jump out from behind a tree HP is completely surprised, and easily bundled into a burlap sack. It was funny then how worried and shit Malfoys dad was. He was all like “if we F this one up v-mort is totally gonna F us in the A”

I wish magic was real so much. I would love to lay on the couch, pull out the eLdAr WaND and holler “accio oreos” or as one good friend said “accio fleshlight” and it would come flying out of giggles and right into his basement. That is the power of magic.  

For Tim

Gabrielle sayeth: This is just too much.

Carlos respondeth: Not quite enough actually...

Nicholas thinketh: When will it ever be enough.

all that text message shit/fml is over

c'mon son! check title links. i have a good one. i drank 2 cans of 4loko then for the rest of the weekend i ate a crunchwrap, an xxl chalupa, burrito, mcrib, fries, bagel with cream cheese, italian combo wedge, another italian combo wedge, bacon/egg, buttered roll (x100) 2 butterfingers, 3 musketeers, snickers, indian buffet: tandoori, sag paneer, fucking all that shit veg. korma. the bottom line is that 4 loko will cause you to eat only the most retarded food, and in mass quantities. thats its most devastating effect. after drinking mass 4loko, u cant even take respite in baloney, your brain is too melted in half. only t-bell which is the new jumpin off point. i mean t-bell is bananasas, everything there tstes the same. they all contain the same shit: ground beef, cheese, mexico sauce (btw how hotfire was ron mexico last night? thats right http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ron_Mexico.) and now they have the new mexico verde sauce: #countit.

this picture of mike vick, taken in asia, displays a common t-bell menu offering there: live puppy on a bun covered in mustard.

amish people and matching shirts

recently i set forth on an expedition one would only take with close friends (or grandparents, they loves this shit), in which we ventured into the rural wilderness of pa and observed the strange phenomenon called the amish.  Crazy fuckers thats for sure.  But even before entering true amish country we (a gaggle of misguided, yet undeniably handsome youths) experienced soemthign even more perplexing than the mindless torture amish folks choose to endure.

we entered the thudadome


yeahhh, it was a buffet and there were enough people there to fill at least two football fields, or more specifically two of their massive banquet halls.  It was intimidating as fuck.  i felt like a stoned fifteen year old boy, and i new i would not be able to eat as much as these champions of the country lifestyle.  So after sitting for three hours and failing to eat more than 1 and half whole chickens worth of pork, beef and polish sausage, we decided we should stop making cup pyramids and phone videos and instead venture into the gift shop. 



the gift shop spanned the entire bottom floor.  probably analogous to the mutated love child of a menage a trois between home goods, marshalls megastore, and crate and barrel.



but like any group of good friends we endured and rummaged through the store, hugged stuffed animals, played with wind chimes and weird musical dioramas, tried on way too many tshirts, and of course bought matching tshirts... two sets.

flag on the play...

tv ads are insane. 

super cereal?

i dont know i cant find the one with a big fat football player snoring because he drank a bottle of nyquil. 

im not even going to bother finding the one that accuses people in focus groups of being "donut eaters" disparagingly. and then the one where mike ditka lambasted this one guy for not buying his turn. then there was this ad for like 60 minutes where they didnt identify manny pacquiao by name but rather "this smiling boxer" i dont understand really. immediately after comes the ad for the pcquiao v. margarito fight. television is mad ignorant. i was at broadway pizzza yesterday the little cockeyed guy with the glasses always used to have glen beck on the radio, now he has that motherfucker on tv. come on son. im trying to enjoy pizza without hearing the pink skinned, cop haircut glen beck, who hates blacks, loves the ficticious character "god" and wants to murder everyone who disagrees with him. in short i am boycotting broadway from now on. 

the audacity!

loudly slammin a pack of newps against your open palm in the middle of a college campus is basically analogous to gettin totes drunk in some european club while slurfully pleading the dj to put on the latest mashup of kanye jamz and nirvanas rape me.

and let me clarify... i do not in anyway sympathize with this ignorant person.  In fact im pretty pissed off that shes offerin up her minty delicious newp while im trying to be all studious like and get to that fuckin library.  I see her standin by herself waiting for someone to chat her up but i also know that if ur that desperate to give away ur fresh desirable delights then u gotta be one hell of a lame ass person. 

thus i stay away from them types. just like i stay away from slutty women.


when satan tempted jesus a whole bunch in that desert... i betya he used newports

PAARTY TIME

At 5:27 a.m. Saturday, Yonkers police Officers Frank Califano and John Tyndal were on Nepperhan Avenue near Roberts Avenue when they heard several cars in front of them blowing their horns, Yonkers police Detective Sgt. Patrick McCormack said.


The cars went around a 2006 Nissan Pathfinder that was stopped at a green light.


The officers saw Stoby sleeping in the Pathfinder. There was an open bottle of Heineken beer between his legs and empty bottle of Hennessy in the car, police said. Stoby had his foot on the brake and the car was in drive, McCormack said.


One officer opened the passenger side door and put the car in park.


The officers then woke him.


Police said Stoby punched Califano in the face while sitting in the driver's seat, then struggled violently with the officers who tried to arrest him, McCormack said.


After Stoby was subdued police found a small bag of cocaine in his jacket.


imagine how fun that night was, until the cops pummeled the shit out of him. whenever you see the paper and it says like "man arrested after struggle with Yonkers cops" the guy has like a black eye, broken nose, 25 stitches, etc. they clearly go to town with their billy clubs. but seriously, it was 5.27 AM. he should have just parked his car at the sanitation garage and slept it off for like 3 hours, then drove home. maybe he was on his way there, idk. he must have been so fucking close to crashing the whole ride, like fucking comatose drunk. and once he hit a stoplight he just passed out, mad funny, bc everyone knows the only victims of drunk driving are the poor drunks who have to pay all those fines and shit.

tHE BoSs

"I'm going to go ahead and start this thing off. I'm going to go ahead and say this. I think I said something a couple weeks ago. Look, I got fined $25,000 for not speaking to you all. Me personally, I really don't care. But at the same time, I do answer questions throughout the week. For the league to fine me $25,000, I'm not going to answer any more questions for the rest of this year. If it's going to be an interview, I'm going to conduct. So I'll answer my own questions. I'll ask myself the questions, then give y'all the answers. So from here on out, I'm not answering any more questions for the rest of this season. Enough said of that, now we'll get to the game.

"Let me hold it down. Alright. I really haven't had a chance to talk to the guys, so this is no disrespect to the Minnesota Vikings and their organization. The captains, Wilfolk, Tommy Boy, Mayo, Kevin Faulk, man I miss them guys, man, I miss the team. It was hard for me to come here and play. It's been an up and down roller coaster emotionally for me all week. And then to be able to come in here and see those guys, running plays and I know what they're doing, and the success they had on the field, the running game, so I kind of know what type of feeling they have on their locker room, man. I just want to be able to tell the guys, I miss the hell out of them, every last helmet in that locker room.

"I mean, Deion Branch came up to me after the game. I've never had a chance to meet Deion Branch, but it was definitely a pleasure to meet him. Coach Belichick, he gave me an opportunity to be a part of something special. That's something I really take to heart. I actually salute Coach Belichick and his team and the success they've had before me, during me and after me. So I'm actually stuck for words, just because of the fact that, man, this is just, a lot of memories here. To the New England Patriots fans, that ovation at the end of the game, that really felt heart-warming. I think I actually shedded a tear for that.

"Like I said, it's been an emotional roller coaster all week. Tried to prepare, tried to talk to the players and coaches about how this game was going to be played, couple tendencies here and a couple tendencies here. The bad part about it, is you have six days to prepare for a team, and on the seventh day, that Sunday, meaning today, I guess they come over and say, 'Dag Moss, I guess you was right about a couple plays and a couple schemes they were going to run.' And it hurts as a player, that you put a lot of hard work in during the week, and at the end of the week, Sunday, when you get on the field, that's when they acknowledge about the hard work that you put in throughout the week. That's actually a disappointment.

"I can't really say enough about this team and this organization. I met with Mrs. Kraft before the game because I really didn't have a chance to talk to her before I left. I thanked Mrs. Kraft for letting me have the opportunity to be a part of something special. The New England Patriots have always been a special organization and I've always watched from afar.

"When I got drafted by Minnesota, and I think I said this a couple weeks ago, I think I felt obligated to bring a Super Bowl to Minnesota. And this season is still not over. Do I know what next season and the future is going to bring? No, I do not. But all I can say is that it's a lot of work that we leave on the field each day.

"There is a lot of film study that we leave in that room each day. I know how hard these guys work in New England and the only thing that I really tried to do was take what the best coach in football history has brought upon me, or the knowledge that he's given me about the game of football, and I tried to sprinkle it off to the guys the best way I know how. So I'm going to go ahead and end this interview, I have my family to see.

"Definitely down that we lost this game because I didn't expect us to lose this game knowing that we had a few things that we had to clean up. But like I said, they played a good game. I wish we could have had that three at the end of the half. Maybe it could have been different. Maybe not. I don't know how many more times I'm going to be up here in New England, but I'm going to leave the New England Patriots, Coach Belichick, man, with a salute. Man, I love you guys. I miss you. I'm out."

More to Come

first note of importance:

Who the fuck are lady antebellum and what the fuck are they doin at the world series?


("WHOOO AMMM IIII?" - thats what the one guy on the left there is pondering)


Second note of importance:

dump.fm is ridiculous
i could go on for hours about this shit and i prob will/have. What i find most baffling is the many communal forums and fads and niches that im not immediately a part of upon their inception


third note of importance:

susan sontag is a bitch but with mad smarts. probably a modern contemporary of hers seeing as my elitist insight on society and culture is unparalleled.

fourth note of importance:

was abstaining from writing for a while. I know, bitch move, but i had reasons and one of them was contemplating changin the blog url. and its gonna happen. so get ready.

once it happens ill tell u.
i swear.


fifth and final note of importance:

art - the meaning of life?/ the only thing meaningful in life?
... more to come

the importance of being jordan

i 

what is raw. is anything as authentic as this composition by john tesh? are post-modern baseball stadiums awful (the answer is yes, an architect cannot dream up quirks that come off as unique, especially not in the greatamericanenronciti ballpark-field) have spectator sports peaked? the nba is saved only by the badassery of the celtics, noone likes kobe bryant, or phil jackson, they may as well be kenneth lay and paul wolfowitz. lebron james is like tiger woods, a big sleazy pile of shit, who sucks dick at talking and has nothign interesting to say. baseball lacks dynamism. thank god for rex ryan, but he only comes to the public consciousness due to televiosn, not a tabloid newspaper, so only kindof awesome. college sports are obviously a joke, as dumb as putting the little league world series on tv. what are we left with? i dont even care about tennis anymore. there is no punishment like watching golf. i think spectator sports are at a crisis point. i guess the world cup was sick can't lie.

congestion

i cant breathe out of my nose. i was just chillin on the couch reading the new yorker, and shit but then i came to starbucks where i am now. bob dylan music is playing, bob dylan is complete shit, sometimes i wonder if bob dylan's entire career is one huge hoax, like joachin pheonix's rap career but on a grander scale. maybe there will be a movie where its a documentary about the hoax. i just heard one of the people working here go increduclously "what is this song?" implying that it is shit and his lameass harmonica playing is a joke. it is so amateurish and silly. my god he fucking suxks. today i read a thing bout keith richards. what a fucking clown. baby boomers are easily the worst kind of people. their self-importance is insane. there are a whole bunch of old people playing some game that looks like scrabble or some shit. they have like little domino things and a rack/holder for them. and they are in starbucks. do they not have houses? why cant they just go to thr bar like regular grown folks. clowns. 

DONT STOP ME NOW: a story of love and loss with my local cable/internet cartel

whatever, the fucking internet stopped working, then my mom was like come by and fix that shit, but the motherfucker was scheduled to come between like 6AM and 4PM friday, never showed up, called at liek 4.30 sayin they would come on MONday, mom freaked out said DONT BOTHER IM FUCKING CANCELING THE SERVICE YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE. so now i dont have any internet. on the plus side comcast know what fucking pieces of shit they are though.

The Fallacy of Social Networking, or why your internets fwends don't mean shit

Everyone is abuzz about the SOcial Network (or was a week ago) What great acting, what great writing. assuming that the movie is basically as truthful as a history channel reenactment (aka mad truth) the whole conception and creation of "the spacebook" is immoral and untruthful. i know certain things being immoral doesn't preclude their widespread use or occurrence (wal-mart, religion, paying taxes to the corrupt American government, etc.) But still, no one touts wal mart or religion as the key to their maintenance of acquaintenceships from college. "oh i said hi to you at a party, now we will be internet fwends fowevew" "i need to feed the incredible loser that is mark zuckerberg", a beast so hateful and lame that he created a website off of someone else's idea, just so that he would have fame and recognition. (clearly it isn't for the money that clown drives an old TSX, and dresses like he hates the thought of aesthetics, even tho he has mad loot) Back before facebook was merely myspace 2.0, back when you still had different networks, and even when you still had to actually be a college student, maybe then it was ok, now it is just a cleaner myspace. remember in the movie when m-zucks said some shit clearly disparaging myspace like "no fun shit like backgrounds or songs" well now facebook has all kinds of wack shit like farmville, suck a dick hypocrite. I am digressing, either way, m-zucks, douschebag, ripped off the brazilian and the winkleV0sses.
But with facebook and other such internets things widely assumed to be the future of interaction by lame-ass writers on the internet and in magazines, i would like to draw attention to malcolm Gladwell's article in the NEw Yorker While people can feel self important for joining a group on facebook saying "Save Darfur" they are doing FUCK all. it takes a top-down organized association of motivated persons to get shit done, i like where he says "facebook is just a tool to organize aquantences u can have 10000 facebook fwends like you clearly don't in real life". when he talks about the al-qaeda command thing versus loosely grouped/motivated social webs, i was reminded of this article, on khalid sheik mohhamed. but anyway, the bottom line is big shit poppin, lil shit stoppin, and facebook and whatnot are a big ole bunch of low-risk, meaningless, kiddy-time Little SHit.

How does it fEEL?

...

-imagine if ur a kid who plays two sports all ur life. Soccer and baseball. U grow up in new york state and love the yankees. Ur father's from ireland and loves soccer playing and watchin and hes a huge liverpool fan. Now the sox ur arch nemesis of one sport buys ur fav team of the other sport.
-that sounds real shitty.
-if liverpool then starts to get their shit together can u cheer?
-Are they still ur team even though beneath their shield is an ugly ugly truth?
-can u be happy for new success?
-or must u always be upset because in one year u lost a brilliant owner for one of ur fav teams and then gained a detested owner for ur other?




=



im guessin that this sucks. but to be honest i dont really know cuz soccer's for pansies and baseball is rigged, so i dont watch that trash

an examination of internet social networking

Now I'm on my blueberry at trabajo city but later an investigation of computer stuff and other forms of nerdery will happen. Noone will be spared the withering gaze I plan on throwing their direction. Oh and congrats roy halladay, that's what happens when u go from the AL east to the NL.

OMG

yeah cliff lee was good...

but ...omg

YOU COULDNT SEE ME IN THE DAYTIME W/ a FLASHLIGHT

is Uniqlo the Japanese H&M, or is H&M the Swedish Uniqlo. are they both indebted to the gap? are uniqlo and H&M both inordinately popular? I think people might be believing the hype, contrary to Chuck D's advice. that fucking place is mad crowded (uniqlo, h&m needs a new big name collaboration to rejuvenate their hype) i get it, it's cheap and they have like nice clothes and shit at old navy prices.

but i cant have GRID i only fuckworded with bubble's sidekick from the wire.

one of these kind of collaborations

crawling through the SubBourbon SPPRawwlll

probably the best title i ever came up with.
it really describes everything about the suburbs.

life in the city is so quick becuase of the density of people and businesses and activities. Its impossible to move slowly cuz ull get swallowd up by the waves of people and movement and chaos.

The suburbs by definition are spread out and open and terribly designed. Residential land consumes everything so there no longer is property of importance or worth to anyone except the miserable family that lives on it. u cant walk on the streets cuz their filled with cars, u cant walk on the sidewalks cuz there arent any, and u cant walk on the grass cuz u'll get yelled at and then bit by some assholes dog.

so instead we are stuck in tiny towns where people instead of speed walking, crawl slowly from one appointment to the next without ever serving a purpose.

its mad sweet cuz it packs all the tweens into one town square as if they were sheep fenced in a pen.

today i saw a chick in her new ugg boots, tight jeans, and black softball (or other generic female sport) sweatshirt. It had her name on the back like they do on the butt of their sweatpants alot. Her name was WARSAVVAGE.

No fuckin joke.
I am so jealous
Im pretty close to marrying that girl. or at least askin if she has sisters.


Possible new nom de plume...
- I. G. Warsavvage
as in , I am a G and a fucking War Savage

call me mac rappalicious

where is the best of everything? the suburbs. it's true. and possibly small cities in upstate NY, but probably just the suburbs. and not the kind of suburbs where the houses are on top of each other and you can't even swim in your pool naked or have outdoor raves all night. the worst ever might be new york city. its so crowded, hot, expensive, hard to get around, full of people, and scarcely any regular people. almost everyone is a crackhead, selling cds, a foreigner, or is my peer from liberal arts school. i suppose old people do old people things and live in fancy parts, and go to fancy things, otherwise they fall into the other demographics. i want to start a new trend, im trying my fucking dammndest, along with some dedicated co-trendstarters. it's called living in the suburbs with a college degree and chilling. lots of people move to the city, but wheres the fun in that. sure there's lots of other people and shit and bars and things, but if everyone just went to the fun places nearish to cities wouldnt it be chill? if noone moved into the city anymore than all the chilling would take place in the suburbs and it would be cheap, and free of crackheads and shit like that.

U might even have as much fun as these typical suburban teenagers

utube, u r my savior

since i graduated and didnt learn nething (specially spelling, no spelling class what the fucks that about, i probs woulda aced dat shit) ive been trying to find some way to learn stuf.

like lots of stuf.
and then i realized i have the ultimate tool stolen from alein technology at my fingertips, the internet! (more specifically youuutuuube/wikipedia).

it really proves how good natured humanity is. hundreds of thousands of peeps loading how to videos on the web just to educate my couch bound, lazy ass. ALbeit these folks are probs mad bored, lonely and harboring some intense feeling of worthlessness, but alas we have the internet and their loneliness and my stupidity can be unified and thus nullified.


shes great

wish i learned this in college...
or at least wish my roommate did...
OMG ROFL LMAOS LULZ

ps: my recent title links have been straight fire

new eminem is the new creed

i love creed, but eminem's new vaguely uplifting, yet morbid, anthemic singles are in the same vein as creed. i imagine the same impulses that make people buy the last few eminem albums (besides the strength of his prior work) are very similar to the impetus behind buying creed albums like 8 years ago or whenever those were really popular. the only difference being i would not ever want to listen to a song where eminem tells rihanna to "look me in the eyeball" whereas i can fucking rock out to 6 feet from the edge.


i wish u were still fat and making songs like ass like that...
maybe creed will have an album called relapse because of scott stapp's drinking problem lulz

when i read that last post it sounded kind of ruthless. i dont really want the little kids to become gg allin, i just wish their parents wouldnt spoil them. and maybe the little girl fashion blogger really is great, im just in with the skeptics.

cool babies

little kids arent allowed to be cool. a little kids can be a nice kid but they cant be a billy badass. a little kid who acts like, or thinks they are: unique, a billy badass, smart, interesting, or anything else is definitely just a spoiled little shit. because i find out about contemporary culture from the best source ever (the new yorker) i might be kind of behind the times on this baby fashion blogger. when i read this article though, i was just disgusted. count me along with the other people who find nothing remarkable about an over-indulged tween who is fawned over by people who lead meaningless lives. first page of the new yorker profile she is shown sitting in her room with her eclectic style and taste (mad records and shit, based on the article im assuming its a "vintage" dress, comme des garcon shoes or whatever, edward gorey book) but guess what else, tucked away in the corner is a burned cd labeled "arcade fire" this i believe is an "entry level alt" musical act, which may or may not be featured in rolling stone. in regards to shopping at salvation army she says "some people say its so gross. u dont kno whos been wearing this shit. im like exactly!" WOWOW this is worthy of a new yorker article. a spoiled rich kid of older, intellectual type parents enjoys shopping at thrift stores STOP THE FUCKING PRESS RIGHT NOW< THIS CERTAINLY MUST BE A NEW PHENOMENON!!!!

there are lots more indulged little children. i think their parents are inordinately impressed by them, which makes the kiddies think they actually are somehow special. it is also very common at ski mountains, where hordes of loud little cabbage patch kids yell about their gnarly fucking moves. how about they man up and start drinking and taking drugs the moment they wake up in the morning, then move into a dirty apartment with creepy older drug addicts. until then i wont be impressed. same with the fashion baby. suffer for the art. your norwegian artist hebrew teaching mother needs to become frightened of you for you to really get avante garde.

I'll see your SWeEt TuUnEs and raise you, MorRE SWeet TOonS

- honestly for the longest time i forgot that music was broadcasted by things other than a hypem and an ipod.

until one fateful day when i accidentally pushed some buttons on my dashboard and the fm receiver changed stations to somethign other than my ipod hookup. So mcuh fuckin static i thought i broke the damn thing. But than i heard some music and realized that if u have a good station, the radio is fuckin dope.

wprb - princeton radio station use to listen to that shit, than went to ColLEgE and forgot about its sweetness. now i can stream that shit on my computer and have someone else make decisions for me. Some people got some good taste (death of tango with pablo, Slow Food with Dj Diana Dipset, double plus good with lizbot) , other people suck like (best of uk with scott einhorn - he claims people dont like coldplay solely for appearances sake)

Now on to the jams

sick

some cramps with betty page... nice combo

found this while looking for can your pussy do the dog
chicks are pretty fuckin crazy. ANd there are a startling amount of youtube videos of normal-like chicks strippin and shit. thats kinda weird. but kinda sweet


All that other shit was entertaining and funny but this last shit is actually untouchable... like honestly how can u make a better song/singer. the hottest finest awesomest

What is another name for the national league?

A 16 team tournament to lose to the Yankees. the fucking AL east is so good toronto would probably be winning the NL wildcard. or at least have a shot. damn i digress alot (ochocinco page whatever) The "senior circuit" is a bunch of bullshit, they have been sucking the AL's d basically since like 1903, back when major league games lasted around 90 minutes and only took place during daylight. On the radio they are having a dipset weekend, and in november there is a dipset reuniion concert. im OMEGA pumped.

how good is this fucking song? I got it from the website that was/is? this website's preeminent phillie's fan homepage. they were doing a best songs of the 90s thing. (p-fork)(n. goersky)

But this one im claiming some measure of credit for. theres a dancey one thats sick.

DJ's a soccer players???

kinda thought baseball was a gentlemans sport. Kinda thoguht you didnt fake getting hit in order to go to first base. Kinda thought you just tried to hit the ball.

(btws my youtube clips are getting mad underground. Their like the hippest of youtube videos. This one only has 338 views)

Does this count as a dive?

Jason Heyward told the umps when he got hit by a line drive on the bottom of his cleat. Hes a g. Kinda wish he was on the phillies. so he could experience the joy of winning the nl east and the pennant and the world series. Cuz thats what g's deserve.

(no shots fired tim)

Bachelor... in HELLLLLL! (alternate title... a weee bit of Real Talk)

I recently had a dream and then awoke abruptly and in a moment of great inspiration scribbled on a torn off piece of papertowel the title of the first screenplay i would pen under the psuedonym James T. Kolodziejski (watch for it, I'm gonna blow up) . In a matter of seconds i fell back to sleep. I was obviously exhausted from spending so much mental energy conjuring up a dream of such epic proportions.
In the morning i awoke with a strong feeling of pride one might confuse with arrogance. However as my drowsiness wore off i recalled that my proud disposition was deserved as i had developed the idea for a masterpiece without even being awake. So i rummaged aroudn for the valuable piece of papertowel and alas i found it under some books and other things that intellectuals like myself keep on bedside tables. Not to my surprise at all, the title was eloquent, brief and daring. It was perfect.

It was THE TRAINRIDE TO HELL.

Its gonna be sick. Mad demons and goblins coming out of hidden compartments and traincars that slowly become more and more mindboggling warped as one descends deeper and nearer to the depths at whihc hell dwells... I might add some crazy twist at the end once filming begins kinda like my philly bro midnight shamalanny.

...

My awesome movie reminds me of this biopic I saw recently called Bachelor in Paradise.
Its about this guy Bob Hope and how he fucked around with a bunch of house wives cuz they all had meaningless lives and lived in shitty developments. It explains alot about how banal existence was in the 1950s and early 60s, and then draws a comparison to modern day. The many similarities between that backwards time perido and our own free, just, and democratic age helps to destroy the flawed, brainwash induced idea that we live in a progressive society. It also reminds us that any supposed progress is in fact deterioration of a dysfunctional community inspired by the understandably undisclosed necessity for death and desruction of many things human due to our overpopulation, pollution (environmentally and aethestically) and perversion of natural existence.

wikipedia

im going to try to read every article. its so good. its fun to go on a wikipedia tangent. it starts off, youre just learning up about he master of alternative history, harry tutrltedove, but then youre like reading about some book he wrote and youre like no way this due was an actual real life character, then you look at his far-right security/paramilitary consultancy, and you see he helped out the greek military junta of 67-74. then you see that the junta didnt persecute the hippies at some island. and that jopni mitchell was inspired to write a song about said hippies and island and shit in 1971, after she visited.

ok ok ok im here

not tooo far of a stretch

we movin

ok ok

ok but it only took like 2 minutes. and i learnt so much.

I put on a vegan crunk night

the more removed i am from this shit, the more novel and funny it seems. is something funnier when u only have a vague idea of it, but you know it is shit? making fun of people who dress like clowns is something everyone luvs. i think alot of that shit, like deliberately looking as unattractive as possible is mad retarded. (u see me high waisted jeans? american aparrel?) im saying like i own at dressing myself, thats no fuckin doubt, and im right about everything again obvi. i could just look at myself in a mirror for ages. or maybe the window of a parked car, idk im not too fussy. the making a video of pictures from DOs and DONTs is pretty funny too. some people like from college and shit, they seem like so deep into their pretentiousness, and like general space cadetedness brought about by arrogance, i would be surprised to see them drive a car. it would be like damn, you actually do something that normal people do, but im sure it pains you, if only old road bikes could be made to travel at highway speeds. people who couldnt even talk loudly enough in class for anyone to hear them "all this pretension is constricting my lungs, but i want to contribute to the discussion about women/minorities/some epic philosopher/a long book without pictures/etc". Regular ignorant people buy drinks at the store. semi-tentious people, who care about "DARFUR" and put their college's sticker on the back window of their car, they have bitch-ass nalgene bottles. the ultimate, unable to breathe rapidly or speak loudly peoples who wear orthopedic shoes and have moustaches have glass jars they refill with water, or some kind of tea.

upon further viewing i have noticed this video isnt 100% applicable to my shit, but fuck it enough of it is.

summer is slipping away

it felt like it went quickly. it kind of got rolling at the start of may; my head was in the summer, but the weather had not caught up yet. then it was all party and bullshit, kind of anticipatory and exciting. went to work in may and felt like i was waiting for something to really kick it off. from mid june until july i was really in the zone; it was hot as a moherfucker, i fucking killed it at the beach n whatnot. then august was august, but the bay area made me think of fall, and when i got back east it basically stayed that way. the fall is rough, i am kind of scared of it; when i was in school i had a severe love-hate with it, but now i feel like i am going to be stricken with a crippling nostalgia for when i was 15. i just want to wear a sweatshirt and skateboard through fallen leaves on the street. the summer sucks, winter is great, the spring is eh, but the fall is big fucking emotional mess that somehow combines all of the best and worst of everything.

Possible BlOg side project... Chicks in Sports (cuz there will always be more tennis chicks)

Mandy Minella... not bad...

I feel like you could do worse

oh and shes from Luxembourg ... sexy




Beatrice Capra... ok so shes only 18, but then again... shes 18.





Btws chicks better not be givin me shit for beatrice cuz im sure mad biddies been getting mad wet over ryan harrison (the 18 yr old face of us mens tennis)

++++ ADDITION ++++

shes really hot too...



ana ivanovic
shes 22... and i like to see her play tennis and score points cuz shes really cute when she smiles :) :) :) ;)

WHat HAVe I BEeN Doing

Honestly. I think im ill. Cuz all i can do is watch sports.
baseball, football, soccer, and now tennis...
Hey at least its not nascar right.

Anyways the free time ive had to contemplate the role of sports on the modern mans life has really fucked with my head. Its entertainment for sure, exciting and invigorating too but all vicariously. I guess i can root for hometown/city/country but do i really care about how Andy Roddick does in the us open? Probs not, but i guess its something like participating in govt and politics and ur community and knowing things that other people do so that when people talk about current and relevant things u can add ur twosense in and provide some uneducated and redundant but topical opinions.

kinda like blllogggin

u know whats not like bloggin.
fuckin checkin out hot chicks.
its alot better than bloggin.



yeah obvis shes hot, i feel like everyone and his father has beat it to anna kournikova.



i feel like maria sharapova is hotter. Not only is she better at tennis but shes also god damn sexy.

yet i dont recall as much hoopla about her sexiness as about horny kourni... Maybe thats my poor memeory cuz the internet seems to luvz her.




and her boobies

and her boooottaayyy

and her cameltoe

TRABAJO TRABAJO TRABAJO

jobs n shit, theyre stupid. Many jobs require a drug test, this is even stupider. especially a job where you never even interact with anyone except your co-workers (but no civilians) like what the fuck difference does it matter if u did drugs on your own time and it didnt interfere with your ability to perform at your job. look at maradona; he was doing mad yay and he still basicly forced napoli to win the serie a and the uefa cup. as long as you dont have like ignorant tattoos on you that proclaim how much u love drugs and hate being productive


But rlly i think everyone understands that the war on drugs is an epic fail. If anyone wanted drugs it wouldnt be hard to get them. across the country drugs are available, just at an artificially jacked up price; if it werent for drugs being illegal, drug dealing would be a shitty job: at least as bad as a cigarette dealer or a beer dealer, you wouldnt even have to say dealer anymore, because that sounds stupid. there would be like the beer distributor of drugs (maybe in some states they would even have all that shit available under one roof, but definitely not shitty states liek NJ or PA or MA, where beer is unavailable in gas stations.)