last nights episode was impossible to understand... like i said alec baldwins brother(hte not fat one) followed i mean fathered blake lively... j block obvi flexed up... how many times can u say fatwā in one god damn episode of gossip gurlz ... i think they are just trying to make sexy blair walldorf more edgy and unlikable at the same time. Most americans dont like middle eastern thingys... oh also of note a first time viewer made an astute remark in realizing that the "maid does not even look mexican"... i guess fake polish accents do sound retarded and therefore mexican
ps... big bad 16 old retard tried to molest 28 year old woman on mill rd. not really gossip gurlz but def gossip life... imagine having to beat up a 200 plus pound retard that is trying to rape a bitch... his face be all squishy and u dont really wanna punch it so u just have to push him over and kick him in the tummy a bunch.
oh yeah... gossip gurlz... in the end jenni fucks up cuz nates too smooth... vanessa & dan oohhhhhhh no they are having probbbblems in their relationship cuz the female one is too ethnic and supposedly doesnt deserve to get into the single creative writing space at tisch... btws sounds like a bad learning environment if u dont have any other classmates... do u even have teachers... or friends ... if ur dan or vanessa.... probs not.
oh and indie rock dad tryin to flex up on baldwin, gettin a little more badass but not biodome status yet.
chuck bass... taliban major lazer status
kinda peep show reality ... last nite... explanations to follow
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
HOLLLLLYYYYYY SHIIIIITTTT
wow so gossip girl rocked... but why dont u just chill for a sex while i finish my sr proj.
so almost done wit dis shit
honestly im probably the worlds leading historian on sf book covers/ suburban construction in west chester county...
whos really gonna try to step to me on any of that
... oh and gossip girl - chuck bass (u look like hell, its all small price to pay to feel like heaven) - i know alls kinds of dings bout dat.
but ur gonna have to wait
so almost done wit dis shit
honestly im probably the worlds leading historian on sf book covers/ suburban construction in west chester county...
whos really gonna try to step to me on any of that
... oh and gossip girl - chuck bass (u look like hell, its all small price to pay to feel like heaven) - i know alls kinds of dings bout dat.
but ur gonna have to wait
Friday, April 23, 2010
CHILDREN: source of much discomfort
im talking about small children, like toddlers and shit. once they become like7 or 8 and can actually talk and listen theyre ok. under that age they just act purely on impulse, and are impossible to predict. they just say anything, demand anything, and do not have the social grace to understand how little i want to interact with them. they offer me nothing; no conversation, nothing at all. young children are pretty much as bad as dogs. i cant stand when a slobbery fucking dog jumps up at me like "WOOOOO I NEED CONSTANT ATTENTION AND YET OFFER NOTHING IN RETURN" children should be more like cats, and just mind their own business. some kids though are mad smart for their age, theyre ok. like ones who can actually understand/bother to listen when someone else talks. i think alot of parents dont make any demands of their kids, and just kowtow to their maddening requests and/or ignore them by letting them watch tv and play video games, thats why they act like spoiled animals.
this fuckin kid is probably chill
DIPSET IS BACK
this fuckin kid is probably chill
DIPSET IS BACK
Wednesday, April 21, 2010
The NOOD!?!?!?!
what is so impressive about the female body that has made man need to paint, sculpt, penetrate it for sooo many years???
...prob tits
...maybs ass... maybs vagina
but fo realz paintin boobies is alot of fun
u get to stare at em for a long time and then paint em some more and then stare at em and then paint em and then stare at em and then paint em and then stare at em and ... well u get the idea
anywho the point of this blog is not to belabor my love of the nude's presence in art history but to recognize its contemporary rebirth in popular kultur, photogrphy and cinema (just so u know im talkin about celebrity nip slips, vag shots, and sex tapes)
oh its big and actually i think appropriately appreciated...
seriously though the modern nood is just as beloved and exploited as in the past... except now the artists are creepers and the models are... well... not hot
...prob tits
...maybs ass... maybs vagina
but fo realz paintin boobies is alot of fun
u get to stare at em for a long time and then paint em some more and then stare at em and then paint em and then stare at em and then paint em and then stare at em and ... well u get the idea
anywho the point of this blog is not to belabor my love of the nude's presence in art history but to recognize its contemporary rebirth in popular kultur, photogrphy and cinema (just so u know im talkin about celebrity nip slips, vag shots, and sex tapes)
oh its big and actually i think appropriately appreciated...
seriously though the modern nood is just as beloved and exploited as in the past... except now the artists are creepers and the models are... well... not hot
so much fucken workpipez
this shit is ruthlesssss. trying to rocknroll on it but it just refuses to go away, wondering what u can even do bout that sorta shit. think that if i just gave up now would still be handed a degree, but probabbly a bad grade/#whoevencaresanymore?
Saturday, April 17, 2010
ALAN GINSBURGH loved by all
alan on an ipod??? is the tentiousness of our teenage youth not already high enough... or wait are they just high
... blunts on ocho and joints on crass the rolling of the bologna is varied but the effect rarely differs, the contempt on television inspires the talk of cinema and height of ignorance... where are we, who are we, do i actually sound like an existential beat poet... i hope so, i hope not
update: the house is saved and we use native american tribal rituals of smudgin to cleanse the evil spirits... success
... blunts on ocho and joints on crass the rolling of the bologna is varied but the effect rarely differs, the contempt on television inspires the talk of cinema and height of ignorance... where are we, who are we, do i actually sound like an existential beat poet... i hope so, i hope not
update: the house is saved and we use native american tribal rituals of smudgin to cleanse the evil spirits... success
Friday, April 16, 2010
Burn After Sleeping
Would death by smoke inhalation after being too drunk to wake up to two different fire alarms and a house filled with smoke indicate that someone has reached the height of ignorance?
an interesting query, why do i ask it? because our role models in todays media do not... I see the warnings for ciggs and puppy mills (and dont get me started on forest fires... I mean theyre fuckin necessary for environmental regrowth, duh) but where the warnings about stove tops... who are the self-righteous doosch bags that are gonna tell us inebriated incapacitated chawbacons (aka rubes) not to leave the gas stove on for a couple hours while it burns the fuck out of a metal pot, when we wanna take a power nap cuz we sooo ti ti from watchin too much Tim & Eric Awesome SHow Great JOb.
No one. Because no one has the balls enough to stand up against house fires.
well its time for slimdog billionaire to do his part for the community and teach everyone a lesson
FIRE
SMOKE
REALLY NOISY FUCKIN FIRE ALARM
GET THE FUCK OFF THE COUCH AND TURN OFF THE STOVE BEFORE U DIE IN A GLORIOUS CONFLAGRATION OF IGNORANCE
an interesting query, why do i ask it? because our role models in todays media do not... I see the warnings for ciggs and puppy mills (and dont get me started on forest fires... I mean theyre fuckin necessary for environmental regrowth, duh) but where the warnings about stove tops... who are the self-righteous doosch bags that are gonna tell us inebriated incapacitated chawbacons (aka rubes) not to leave the gas stove on for a couple hours while it burns the fuck out of a metal pot, when we wanna take a power nap cuz we sooo ti ti from watchin too much Tim & Eric Awesome SHow Great JOb.
No one. Because no one has the balls enough to stand up against house fires.
well its time for slimdog billionaire to do his part for the community and teach everyone a lesson
FIRE
SMOKE
REALLY NOISY FUCKIN FIRE ALARM
GET THE FUCK OFF THE COUCH AND TURN OFF THE STOVE BEFORE U DIE IN A GLORIOUS CONFLAGRATION OF IGNORANCE
Thursday, April 15, 2010
tragic declines
member back when lyndey lohan was omega slamming?
she was killling it; she came off of the resoundingly epic win that was the parent trap, did bunch of other shit probably while she got older, then was in mean girls (one of the better movies of the last 10 yrs) since being slamming and epic in mean girls she has done fuck all (ok i just checked googlepedia.net and she was in some movies i havent seen that probs blew; bobby?) then she got 40>9999 DWIs and caught for yay like 100 bajillion tymes, then went to jail for literally 84 minutes, and fucked every dude in the world, including samantha ronson. all of this behavior led to her looking like she spent 9 months at Andersonville.
If she can avoid dying/getting fat i foresee an inevitable critically acclaimed return to the fold a la mickey rourke. in fact their stories are basically the same; be in mad movies while young and good looking, destroy good looks by abusing body, then come back as wizened badass. i suppose no one really wants to see lindsay lohan wizened; she will probably need plastic surgery, but then mickey rourke did that too. either way lindsay lohan comes back to play the same role marissa tomei did in the wrestler, or some shit like that. im going to be pumped whenever the lilo comeback happens.
she was killling it; she came off of the resoundingly epic win that was the parent trap, did bunch of other shit probably while she got older, then was in mean girls (one of the better movies of the last 10 yrs) since being slamming and epic in mean girls she has done fuck all (ok i just checked googlepedia.net and she was in some movies i havent seen that probs blew; bobby?) then she got 40>9999 DWIs and caught for yay like 100 bajillion tymes, then went to jail for literally 84 minutes, and fucked every dude in the world, including samantha ronson. all of this behavior led to her looking like she spent 9 months at Andersonville.
If she can avoid dying/getting fat i foresee an inevitable critically acclaimed return to the fold a la mickey rourke. in fact their stories are basically the same; be in mad movies while young and good looking, destroy good looks by abusing body, then come back as wizened badass. i suppose no one really wants to see lindsay lohan wizened; she will probably need plastic surgery, but then mickey rourke did that too. either way lindsay lohan comes back to play the same role marissa tomei did in the wrestler, or some shit like that. im going to be pumped whenever the lilo comeback happens.
i luv u guys
im seriously not even trying to be mean, but this is mad funny, and i guess it doesnt really matter, its just praise for this blog, right?
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
^!^!^!BBig G00fy Polish Wedding: Much ado about Gossip!^!^!^
badass chuck bass is back- "why are you so surprised, I'm single now... this is what i do"
as chuck scoffs at nate and walks through the polish gala with oddly tall blonde lady by his side. yep u guessed it, blair is all self-entitled and uses the endearing eastern european love fest as a means to complain about her ruined relationship with chuck and her hatred for what shes become. dont fux with chuck. other less important news. lame boring checkered shirt dude from NYU misses his other half and nobody cares. gay indie brother finds bi guy from hotel but when they spose to dance together they forget to face one another and it instead looks major lazer awkz. Gay indie dad ... uh oh ur wife cheats on u again, with whom? her x... billy baldwin!?!?! whoa real talkz. j-block is as badass as usual. goin behind perpetually dishonest serena (i guess she gets it from her mother), to try get some Nate action. (btws crazy brown breast dress)
as chuck scoffs at nate and walks through the polish gala with oddly tall blonde lady by his side. yep u guessed it, blair is all self-entitled and uses the endearing eastern european love fest as a means to complain about her ruined relationship with chuck and her hatred for what shes become. dont fux with chuck. other less important news. lame boring checkered shirt dude from NYU misses his other half and nobody cares. gay indie brother finds bi guy from hotel but when they spose to dance together they forget to face one another and it instead looks major lazer awkz. Gay indie dad ... uh oh ur wife cheats on u again, with whom? her x... billy baldwin!?!?! whoa real talkz. j-block is as badass as usual. goin behind perpetually dishonest serena (i guess she gets it from her mother), to try get some Nate action. (btws crazy brown breast dress)
Monday, April 12, 2010
everyday im hustling/eating chicken
DOUBLED down today, on kentuxxxy fried CHICKEN's delishious double down sangwich. it was RUTHLESSSSSS. the main issues i had were: 1. how fuxxxing tight are you going to be with the special sauce? like you can throw down 2 tasty-ass chicken filets, unlimited quantities of soda, and all of a sudden the special sauce is at a premium. BULLSHIT. 2. more bacon necessary. its not exactly a sandwich anyway, more like a shit-ton of chicken wrapped in paper and disguised as a sandwich. a little more fixins (BACON) might have gone a long way in disguising it as a sandwich, and not merely chicken wrapped in a tiny-ass wrapper that couldnt stop my hands from mopping up a pint of grease. 3. gully fucking cheese was not even melty. that was lame. HAVING AIRED OUT my complaints, i will now admit that the [sandwich] itself was actually tasty as a motherfucker.
michael roberts: mindset predecessor
in the process of scoping some dope photographys and parrtying, an elder, a previously unknown mentor, whose manner and bearing were completely in keeping with the artistic standards of this forum for ideas, was discovered. (maybe it was some kind of destiny/fate sort of thing. thats how that works i think, like magic makes you meet people or some shit. maybe the discovering wasnt done by this writer but supernatural angels of witty repartee) ANYWAY he fucking busted out a reference to john mark karr innocuously, like no fucking big deal, then instead of lording over everyone else, what an epicly cool reference that is, he let it slide, then explained it later when it came up. HILARIOUS. he forced his girlfriend to suffer, so that others might laugh drunkenly and mirthfully: "anal sex - the only way to show you truly love some one" (followed by intense glare at gf). some mutual hero sorts emerged, rowdy roddy piper, macho man randy savage n such, and the WRASSLER, which is a critically acclaimed movie starrring MIKEY rourke which was beloved and its greatness exhorted. the ruthlessness of the john mark karr reference made me think of richard john casino. holler at me if u remember that shit, with the warning flyers from the office. in a way, what this has really led to, is the bizarreness of falsely confessing to murdering jonbenet ramsey. like why? is it possible that gary glitter told john mark karr to do it? is thailand a gross place full of child prostitutes and lecherous paedophiles (paedos) where the mentally deranged and sexually perverse from the WEST (that means not poor, dangerous, backwards countries) go to camp out, free from the restrictions on molesting that exist in THE WESTERN WORLD (i would say 1st wrld, but that shit is no longer relevant). worldviews are ruthlesss. BTW he totally clowned on us with his name robert... we know its michael though and we tried to photo pic him and blog about him yet his unearthly aura destroyed the photo pic ...but not our blog...
heres some photos of other saintly role models
heres some photos of other saintly role models
Sunday, April 11, 2010
JUST DO IT
morally upstanding nike and their creepy new tiger commercial
what tiger is really thinkin
what tiger is really thinkin
Thursday, April 8, 2010
Britney's out Britain's in
yeah i dont know if u know but hell i know that whats really really good is British television.
I'm not just talking BBC, which does have the Fueg David Attenborough speak and mad sexy autos running around on Top Gear. But also all the shows that have been appropriated by american buffoons.
The Office, Dancing with the Stars (Strictly Come Dancing), American Idol (Pop Idol), among others
But even more famously in the world of Ocho (the planet made of gold) we have awesome time shows like Peep Show (most real talk eva) and The Mighty Boosh...
Yeah i went there, its adultswim meets crazy fuckin brits cracked out on anything and everything, with incredibly thick accents that make u giggle uncontrollably.
The Crack Fox
Weird... true, awesome... true, the future of television... quite possibly
I'm not just talking BBC, which does have the Fueg David Attenborough speak and mad sexy autos running around on Top Gear. But also all the shows that have been appropriated by american buffoons.
The Office, Dancing with the Stars (Strictly Come Dancing), American Idol (Pop Idol), among others
But even more famously in the world of Ocho (the planet made of gold) we have awesome time shows like Peep Show (most real talk eva) and The Mighty Boosh...
Yeah i went there, its adultswim meets crazy fuckin brits cracked out on anything and everything, with incredibly thick accents that make u giggle uncontrollably.
The Crack Fox
Weird... true, awesome... true, the future of television... quite possibly
Readings from the Book of Chad
Once i was asked... who is the most influential man to ever walk this earth? My answer ... oh u mean our savior, Chad Ochocinco.
Quotations from the book of Chad (Chad Ochocinco by Chad Ochocinco):
"so if i couldnt be an athlete id be a musician. could you imagine the concerts i would do? my show would be unreal. it would be parliament funkadelic x10. i'd come down out of the sky, parachute out of a plane onto the stage while im playing guitar. the music would start as soon as i jump out of the plane, and im just going and going, grooving the whole way, I'd be in this wild outfit, all leather and all black, my favorite color, and the outfit would light up lights coming down the arms and legs...'what the hell is he going to do? what is he going to come out in? what is he going to play?'... if i could be any musician, id be paul mccartney before the divorce."
"id have my dream dinner party. I'd have michael jordan...donald trump...the last one would have to be obama now. That would be very impressive. Then, because ive had him over to dinner he can take me off the damn tax bracket. but then id want to pick his brain. im not sure what id ask him, but it would be a historic moment, obama talking to ocho. I probably wouldnt even know what the hell to say. i'd probably say 'you want to play one-on-one?'...I'd dunk on him and say 'yeah get the fuck up, huh?'
"like i say the other guys in the league get it. they understand. its the serious fans who dont understand me, that think im just this guy trying to tell everybody how great i am. Well i am great, but that goes without saying."
"when you talk trash to somebody you have to do your research. I make sure i know where a guy went to high school, where he went to college, where he grew up, every detail i can find."
"i line up on the left against drayton florence. the chargers didnt switch their corners because they had confidence in florence, almost as much as jammer at the time. but i roast his ass and the safety, terrence kiel never comes over to help. i go 74 yds. for the touchdown and were up 38-28 with like 3 minutes left in the 3rd quarter...i've got 11 catches, 260 yds, and 2 touchdowns, but what does it mean? whoop di fucking doo thats what it means."
"will i do a celebration dance? at the time i might not be able to walk, i might be on crutches. who knows, ive got to have something special, so you will never know. i just cant be inducted without some type of flash. it will probably be somehting nice, whatever it is it will probably be the best speech of all time. then they will probably change the rule for all hall-of-famers who get up to talk-- you will not be allowed to do this anymore."
"shes so happy she jumps into his arms, hes all over ESPN, even made the national news, but does he send a shout out to his boy ochocinco for giving him the idea? No. Do i get an invite to the wedding? No. I would have even bought them a nice set of china and everything."
"i went 8 games without a touchdown. 8 games? i shouldnt go 8 minutes without a touchdown."
"can you imagine me in vegas? id take over the town, id be bigger than penn&teller and celine dion and siegfried&roy combined. Forget ocean's 11, 12 and 13, chad ochocinco is one the way. Im like sinatra and sammy all rolled into one. damn, i digress a lot."
Quotations from the book of Chad (Chad Ochocinco by Chad Ochocinco):
"so if i couldnt be an athlete id be a musician. could you imagine the concerts i would do? my show would be unreal. it would be parliament funkadelic x10. i'd come down out of the sky, parachute out of a plane onto the stage while im playing guitar. the music would start as soon as i jump out of the plane, and im just going and going, grooving the whole way, I'd be in this wild outfit, all leather and all black, my favorite color, and the outfit would light up lights coming down the arms and legs...'what the hell is he going to do? what is he going to come out in? what is he going to play?'... if i could be any musician, id be paul mccartney before the divorce."
"id have my dream dinner party. I'd have michael jordan...donald trump...the last one would have to be obama now. That would be very impressive. Then, because ive had him over to dinner he can take me off the damn tax bracket. but then id want to pick his brain. im not sure what id ask him, but it would be a historic moment, obama talking to ocho. I probably wouldnt even know what the hell to say. i'd probably say 'you want to play one-on-one?'...I'd dunk on him and say 'yeah get the fuck up, huh?'
"like i say the other guys in the league get it. they understand. its the serious fans who dont understand me, that think im just this guy trying to tell everybody how great i am. Well i am great, but that goes without saying."
"when you talk trash to somebody you have to do your research. I make sure i know where a guy went to high school, where he went to college, where he grew up, every detail i can find."
"i line up on the left against drayton florence. the chargers didnt switch their corners because they had confidence in florence, almost as much as jammer at the time. but i roast his ass and the safety, terrence kiel never comes over to help. i go 74 yds. for the touchdown and were up 38-28 with like 3 minutes left in the 3rd quarter...i've got 11 catches, 260 yds, and 2 touchdowns, but what does it mean? whoop di fucking doo thats what it means."
"will i do a celebration dance? at the time i might not be able to walk, i might be on crutches. who knows, ive got to have something special, so you will never know. i just cant be inducted without some type of flash. it will probably be somehting nice, whatever it is it will probably be the best speech of all time. then they will probably change the rule for all hall-of-famers who get up to talk-- you will not be allowed to do this anymore."
"shes so happy she jumps into his arms, hes all over ESPN, even made the national news, but does he send a shout out to his boy ochocinco for giving him the idea? No. Do i get an invite to the wedding? No. I would have even bought them a nice set of china and everything."
"i went 8 games without a touchdown. 8 games? i shouldnt go 8 minutes without a touchdown."
"can you imagine me in vegas? id take over the town, id be bigger than penn&teller and celine dion and siegfried&roy combined. Forget ocean's 11, 12 and 13, chad ochocinco is one the way. Im like sinatra and sammy all rolled into one. damn, i digress a lot."
Tuesday, April 6, 2010
PACKED UP MY CREW FOR SOME RAW POWER MOVES:gossip girl review
<<<<=====powerrrr. also the episode was called inglorious bassterds. whoever writes the episode titles is the BESHT>...next week wallace shawn is going to be on!!!!
ZZZEEEEEEE
thats short for ZZZZZZZZZZZZEEEEEEEENNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOONNNNNNNNNNNN
fuck yeah im talkin about the most awesome girl of the 21st century!
&*^*^&Zenon Carr, a mischievous 13 year old girl, lives with her family on a space station orbiting the Earth in the year 2049 AD. After getting into trouble with Chief Windom, the space station's commander, Zenon is punished by being exiled to Planet Earth. After several weeks on Earth, Zenon receives evidence that her home, the space station, is in trouble. Zenon must find a way to return to the space station in hopes of saving her family, her friends, and her home.
yeah i just fuckin plagurized wikipedia... howd u think i graduated college u crazy loon
zeedus lupeedus this movie is stellar major and ur a fool of a took if u dont get it. PLus that crazy 12 year old grew up and got slutty major and also snorts alot of stardust so u better watch out intergalactic party goers.
zooom zoooom zooom booom booom booom zooom zoooom zooom booom booom yeah two onomatopoeias in one chorus ... gotta love microbe
fuck yeah im talkin about the most awesome girl of the 21st century!
&*^*^&Zenon Carr, a mischievous 13 year old girl, lives with her family on a space station orbiting the Earth in the year 2049 AD. After getting into trouble with Chief Windom, the space station's commander, Zenon is punished by being exiled to Planet Earth. After several weeks on Earth, Zenon receives evidence that her home, the space station, is in trouble. Zenon must find a way to return to the space station in hopes of saving her family, her friends, and her home.
yeah i just fuckin plagurized wikipedia... howd u think i graduated college u crazy loon
zeedus lupeedus this movie is stellar major and ur a fool of a took if u dont get it. PLus that crazy 12 year old grew up and got slutty major and also snorts alot of stardust so u better watch out intergalactic party goers.
zooom zoooom zooom booom booom booom zooom zoooom zooom booom booom yeah two onomatopoeias in one chorus ... gotta love microbe
Monday, April 5, 2010
Thursday, April 1, 2010
late gossip girl
it was a tight episode. i cant really comment too much more. imagine of chuck bass like goes back to college. it would be redikulus. ==> he is like a grown ass man, not wee baby child like the rest. j-block and nate i think its gonna happen, it always seems to build towards it.
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