Readings from the Book of Chad

Once i was asked... who is the most influential man to ever walk this earth? My answer ... oh u mean our savior, Chad Ochocinco.

Quotations from the book of Chad (Chad Ochocinco by Chad Ochocinco):
"so if i couldnt be an athlete id be a musician. could you imagine the concerts i would do? my show would be unreal. it would be parliament funkadelic x10. i'd come down out of the sky, parachute out of a plane onto the stage while im playing guitar. the music would start as soon as i jump out of the plane, and im just going and going, grooving the whole way, I'd be in this wild outfit, all leather and all black, my favorite color, and the outfit would light up lights coming down the arms and legs...'what the hell is he going to do? what is he going to come out in? what is he going to play?'... if i could be any musician, id be paul mccartney before the divorce."

"id have my dream dinner party. I'd have michael jordan...donald trump...the last one would have to be obama now. That would be very impressive. Then, because ive had him over to dinner he can take me off the damn tax bracket. but then id want to pick his brain. im not sure what id ask him, but it would be a historic moment, obama talking to ocho. I probably wouldnt even know what the hell to say. i'd probably say 'you want to play one-on-one?'...I'd dunk on him and say 'yeah get the fuck up, huh?'

"like i say the other guys in the league get it. they understand. its the serious fans who dont understand me, that think im just this guy trying to tell everybody how great i am. Well i am great, but that goes without saying."

"when you talk trash to somebody you have to do your research. I make sure i know where a guy went to high school, where he went to college, where he grew up, every detail i can find."

"i line up on the left against drayton florence. the chargers didnt switch their corners because they had confidence in florence, almost as much as jammer at the time. but i roast his ass and the safety, terrence kiel never comes over to help. i go 74 yds. for the touchdown and were up 38-28 with like 3 minutes left in the 3rd quarter...i've got 11 catches, 260 yds, and 2 touchdowns, but what does it mean? whoop di fucking doo thats what it means."

"will i do a celebration dance? at the time i might not be able to walk, i might be on crutches. who knows, ive got to have something special, so you will never know. i just cant be inducted without some type of flash. it will probably be somehting nice, whatever it is it will probably be the best speech of all time. then they will probably change the rule for all hall-of-famers who get up to talk-- you will not be allowed to do this anymore."

"shes so happy she jumps into his arms, hes all over ESPN, even made the national news, but does he send a shout out to his boy ochocinco for giving him the idea? No. Do i get an invite to the wedding? No. I would have even bought them a nice set of china and everything."

"i went 8 games without a touchdown. 8 games? i shouldnt go 8 minutes without a touchdown."

"can you imagine me in vegas? id take over the town, id be bigger than penn&teller and celine dion and siegfried&roy combined. Forget ocean's 11, 12 and 13, chad ochocinco is one the way. Im like sinatra and sammy all rolled into one. damn, i digress a lot."