tragic declines

member back when lyndey lohan was omega slamming?

she was killling it; she came off of the resoundingly epic win that was the parent trap, did bunch of other shit probably while she got older, then was in mean girls (one of the better movies of the last 10 yrs) since being slamming and epic in mean girls she has done fuck all (ok i just checked googlepedia.net and she was in some movies i havent seen that probs blew; bobby?) then she got 40>9999 DWIs and caught for yay like 100 bajillion tymes, then went to jail for literally 84 minutes, and fucked every dude in the world, including samantha ronson. all of this behavior led to her looking like she spent 9 months at  Andersonville.


If she can avoid dying/getting fat i foresee an inevitable critically acclaimed return to the fold a la mickey rourke. in fact their stories are basically the same; be in mad movies while young and good looking, destroy good looks by abusing body, then come back as wizened badass. i suppose no one really wants to see lindsay lohan wizened; she will probably need plastic surgery, but then mickey rourke did that too. either way lindsay lohan comes back to play the same role marissa tomei did in the wrestler, or some shit like that. im going to be pumped whenever the lilo comeback happens.

i luv u guys

im seriously not even trying to be mean, but this is mad funny, and i guess it doesnt really matter, its just praise for this blog, right?

^!^!^!BBig G00fy Polish Wedding: Much ado about Gossip!^!^!^

badass chuck bass is back- "why are you so surprised, I'm single now... this is what i do"
as chuck scoffs at nate and walks through the polish gala with oddly tall blonde lady by his side. yep u guessed it, blair is all self-entitled and uses the endearing eastern european love fest as a means to complain about her ruined relationship with chuck and her hatred for what shes become. dont fux with chuck. other less important news. lame boring checkered shirt dude from NYU misses his other half and nobody cares. gay indie brother finds bi guy from hotel but when they spose to dance together they forget to face one another and it instead looks major lazer awkz. Gay indie dad ... uh oh ur wife cheats on u again, with whom? her x... billy baldwin!?!?! whoa real talkz. j-block is as badass as usual. goin behind perpetually dishonest serena (i guess she gets it from her mother), to try get some Nate action. (btws crazy brown breast dress)

everyday im hustling/eating chicken

DOUBLED down today, on kentuxxxy fried CHICKEN's delishious double down sangwich. it was RUTHLESSSSSS. the main issues i had were: 1. how fuxxxing tight are you going to be with the special sauce? like you can throw down 2 tasty-ass chicken filets, unlimited quantities of soda, and all of a sudden the special sauce is at a premium. BULLSHIT. 2. more bacon necessary. its  not exactly a sandwich anyway, more like a shit-ton of chicken wrapped in paper and disguised as a sandwich. a little more fixins (BACON) might have gone a long way in disguising it as a sandwich, and not merely chicken wrapped in a tiny-ass wrapper that couldnt stop my hands from mopping up a pint of grease. 3. gully fucking cheese was not even melty. that was lame. HAVING AIRED OUT my complaints, i will now admit that the [sandwich] itself was actually tasty as a motherfucker.

michael roberts: mindset predecessor

in the process of scoping some dope photographys and parrtying, an elder, a previously unknown mentor, whose manner and bearing were completely in keeping with the artistic standards of this forum for ideas, was discovered. (maybe it was some kind of destiny/fate sort of thing. thats how that works i think, like magic makes you meet people or some shit. maybe the discovering wasnt done by this writer but supernatural angels of witty repartee) ANYWAY he fucking busted out a reference to john mark karr innocuously, like no fucking big deal, then instead of lording over everyone else, what an epicly cool reference that is, he let it slide, then explained it later when it came up. HILARIOUS. he forced his girlfriend to suffer, so that others might laugh drunkenly and mirthfully: "anal sex - the only way to show you truly love some one" (followed by intense glare at gf).  some mutual hero sorts emerged, rowdy roddy piper, macho man randy savage n such, and the WRASSLER, which is a critically acclaimed movie starrring MIKEY rourke which was beloved and its greatness exhorted. the ruthlessness of the john mark karr reference made me think of richard john casino. holler at me if u remember that shit, with the warning flyers from the office. in a way, what this has really led to, is the bizarreness of falsely confessing to murdering jonbenet ramsey. like why? is it possible that gary glitter told john mark karr to do it? is thailand a gross place full of child prostitutes and lecherous paedophiles (paedos) where the mentally deranged and sexually perverse from the WEST (that means not poor, dangerous, backwards countries) go to camp out, free from the restrictions on molesting that exist in THE WESTERN WORLD (i would say 1st wrld, but that shit is no longer relevant). worldviews are ruthlesss. BTW he totally clowned on us with his name robert... we know its michael though and we tried to photo pic him and blog about him yet his unearthly aura destroyed the photo pic ...but not our blog...

heres some photos of other saintly role models

JUST DO IT

morally upstanding nike and their creepy new tiger commercial

what tiger is really thinkin

Britney's out Britain's in

yeah i dont know if u know but hell i know that whats really really good is British television.

I'm not just talking BBC, which does have the Fueg David Attenborough speak and mad sexy autos running around on Top Gear. But also all the shows that have been appropriated by american buffoons.
The Office, Dancing with the Stars (Strictly Come Dancing), American Idol (Pop Idol), among others

But even more famously in the world of Ocho (the planet made of gold) we have awesome time shows like Peep Show (most real talk eva) and The Mighty Boosh...

Yeah i went there, its adultswim meets crazy fuckin brits cracked out on anything and everything, with incredibly thick accents that make u giggle uncontrollably.

The Crack Fox
Weird... true, awesome... true, the future of television... quite possibly

cheryl ochocinco?

wooooooooooooooooooo

Readings from the Book of Chad

Once i was asked... who is the most influential man to ever walk this earth? My answer ... oh u mean our savior, Chad Ochocinco.

Quotations from the book of Chad (Chad Ochocinco by Chad Ochocinco):
"so if i couldnt be an athlete id be a musician. could you imagine the concerts i would do? my show would be unreal. it would be parliament funkadelic x10. i'd come down out of the sky, parachute out of a plane onto the stage while im playing guitar. the music would start as soon as i jump out of the plane, and im just going and going, grooving the whole way, I'd be in this wild outfit, all leather and all black, my favorite color, and the outfit would light up lights coming down the arms and legs...'what the hell is he going to do? what is he going to come out in? what is he going to play?'... if i could be any musician, id be paul mccartney before the divorce."

"id have my dream dinner party. I'd have michael jordan...donald trump...the last one would have to be obama now. That would be very impressive. Then, because ive had him over to dinner he can take me off the damn tax bracket. but then id want to pick his brain. im not sure what id ask him, but it would be a historic moment, obama talking to ocho. I probably wouldnt even know what the hell to say. i'd probably say 'you want to play one-on-one?'...I'd dunk on him and say 'yeah get the fuck up, huh?'

"like i say the other guys in the league get it. they understand. its the serious fans who dont understand me, that think im just this guy trying to tell everybody how great i am. Well i am great, but that goes without saying."

"when you talk trash to somebody you have to do your research. I make sure i know where a guy went to high school, where he went to college, where he grew up, every detail i can find."

"i line up on the left against drayton florence. the chargers didnt switch their corners because they had confidence in florence, almost as much as jammer at the time. but i roast his ass and the safety, terrence kiel never comes over to help. i go 74 yds. for the touchdown and were up 38-28 with like 3 minutes left in the 3rd quarter...i've got 11 catches, 260 yds, and 2 touchdowns, but what does it mean? whoop di fucking doo thats what it means."

"will i do a celebration dance? at the time i might not be able to walk, i might be on crutches. who knows, ive got to have something special, so you will never know. i just cant be inducted without some type of flash. it will probably be somehting nice, whatever it is it will probably be the best speech of all time. then they will probably change the rule for all hall-of-famers who get up to talk-- you will not be allowed to do this anymore."

"shes so happy she jumps into his arms, hes all over ESPN, even made the national news, but does he send a shout out to his boy ochocinco for giving him the idea? No. Do i get an invite to the wedding? No. I would have even bought them a nice set of china and everything."

"i went 8 games without a touchdown. 8 games? i shouldnt go 8 minutes without a touchdown."

"can you imagine me in vegas? id take over the town, id be bigger than penn&teller and celine dion and siegfried&roy combined. Forget ocean's 11, 12 and 13, chad ochocinco is one the way. Im like sinatra and sammy all rolled into one. damn, i digress a lot."

PACKED UP MY CREW FOR SOME RAW POWER MOVES:gossip girl review

J-Block brought the heat. I thought she would have surpassed chuck bass, who had been seeming kinda of TERRYCLOTH of late; instead he brought the rawest of raw power moves with his epic crisscrossing of blair waldorf. She might have said she was done but she isnt. he pwned jack BASS mighty easy, jack bass epic badass gives up the hotel and shit just to make chuck and blair get in a fight?-> CHUCK BASS STILL UBERMENSCH. HOWEEVER the ruthless pursuit of nate, has put j-block pretty much in the same league. she tots doesnt give a shit about anyone else, she just wants to fuxxx nate. The assassins part was fuckiing sweet. that like freeze frame, animated split screen shit was tight, and the music was tight. Also epic: the forgeigners who act as indentured servants for the gossips are getting marrriaged_2cute. gay indie kid, i dont know whose child he is-> finding romance in the lobby_2cute. Also which plaid wearing indie son has been bombing the hell out of a rural southwestern state???? ALLTOGETHER a wild n craziness episode.
<<<<=====powerrrr. also the episode was called inglorious bassterds. whoever writes the episode titles is the BESHT>...next week wallace shawn is going to be on!!!!