manliness and japanese commercials

o they mix so perfectly, i dont know why but perhaps its the director's, nobuhiko obayashi, uncanny eye for the absurd, campy and idealistic pop imagery... or maybe its charles bronson, cuz hes a g and an american hero as shown through the death wish series.

either way, the recent old spice commercials are obviously derivative. and desperately put too much effort into recreating mandoms unparalleled degree of excellence


for more obayashi madness ... see House

everybody from new york lives in the suburbs

I feel like this is mostly true. Only foreigners and provincial Americans live in the city. Kind of a gross overstatement but the odds of hearing a new York accent are probably better in long island or westchester than Manhattan. I guess large parts of the outer boros are exempt. True grit was sick, need to rewatch the john Wayne one and see which is better. I got food poisoning and have been largely bedridden for the Christmas. Whatever, Christmas is a humbug.

Vincent LaGuardia Gambini

How good is My Cousin Vinny. SO fucjking good. Fred Gwynne just kills it. Marisa Tomei seems to be made out of charisma. Obvi Joe Pesci, hes great. shit even the prosecutor guy is great. what a heartwarming, funny, silly movie. i mean marisa tomei is just the best. her petulant guidette w/ playful goodnaturedness and sharp wit is just fantastic. ralph macchio does nothing whatsoever, but thats fine. i cant say enough good things about the movie: my cousin named vinny.

Marisa Tomei still fueg

Fred Gwynne smoking weed while in his Munster makeup

Joe Pesci in an outtake from MCV

Ralph Macchio in the present Day

As an aside i had a teacher who was like Ralph Maccio's uncle. 

Ralph Macchio's uncle "mr. macchio" was in his final year as a teacher, the year i had him, and he had largely given up. he just told stories about growing up in the bronx and taking the el to yankee stadium and seeing mickey mantle and shit like that. at christmas he sang "dominic the donkey" on the PA system. he fucking nailed it tho.

carlos's addiction

wooooooooooooooooooooooooo (shes 18 now guys... woooooooooooooooooooooooooo)

So this is Christmas

John Lennon was pretty chill, I think. Of all of the beatles, he and Ringo Starr seem the chillest. Paul McCartney seems like a tightface prick, and George Harrison seems largely inconsequential. It is really difficult to acknowledge the Beatles for anything, because they are one of the darlings of almost all lamestreamers. In fact i will not be saying anything positive about the Beatles as a group, or their music here, so don't get it twisted. John Lennon did the Christmas song, which i heard on the radio today, which i guess is appropriate every year given the anniversary of his death, and the fact that Christmas is coming up.

yeah it's a nice song. Christmas is anything but chill. It would be way chiller if it were like a more religious Thanksgiving. It should be like Thanksgiving: I am thankful that baby Jesus was born so that he could later die, and in doing so save me and everyone else. That was pretty nice of him. Even though baby Jesus is reported to have recieved stupid, expensive, and largely useless gifts, I doubt this actually occurred. I think the whole bit about the presents was inserted later by some kind of retail lobby. Christmas is when all of the evil corporations in the world team up to act like it is normal or appropriate to go into debt, so that consumer goods might be given to people you know or are related to.

I imagine Baby Jesus was thinking "would you fuck off with the groveling and the presents, now this is awkward. I'm related to GOd, why the fuck would I need some stupid shit like frankensence and myrrh. ok gold whatever, im not some fucking guido. Seriously, I being a part of the trinity and all that don't give a shit about your presents I could just make whatever I want with my godly powers"
This is the essentially stupid part about gifts. Why act like gift buying is commuting or somehting. on the radio theyre like "for all of you out there doing your holiday shopping, blah blah gettin it in." making excuses for excess is just sad, but normalizing it is practically evil. If the present is everything a person could ever want, great, now they are spoiled and indulged like a goddamn prince(ess). If the gift sucks and they hate it, now they feel guilty for hating a gift. How long do you wait before getting rid of it? Do you need to wear the shitty, ugly clothing in front of the gift giver (I fucking wish Santa would be enforced aka anonymity, not like even when u were 8 u didnt know. This lamestream gift is from relative x or whatever, if santa were magic and real wouldnt better taste come with that?) Unfortunately most people are probably callous and unfeeling, conditioned by advertisements and Christmas specials to worship the gifts they want (narcissism/greed) And as such they wouldnt even feel guilty if I, on purpose, got them a terrible gift to make them feel bad. People wouldn't even feel guilty for recieving a gift. Fucking assholes. Im still down for the decorations and shit though. Hallelujah.

Topics for perspire

I'm am looking at a lumberjack. His beard is a mix off fall colors in
the sun. His hair become ruffled as he rubs his head. He texts until
he cannot text no more. Yet he sits, stares, and smiles at his
smarphone because he a mute to the world.


-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
--------------------------------------==========================================================================================================================================================================+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++

if only i was born yesterday ... for serious

deion sanders mentors over a hundred people (whom he calls his kids) and he sends a motivational text to them all every morning.  these people include vick and ray lewis.   That is wild.  vick and ray lewis are mad crazy to begin with and now with primetime calling the shots im worried... but in a good way.

we know ray and vick are fuckin champs and dont need no support to kick ass at football but what about fools that were young and deion mentored and now are ridiculously promising... devin hester, dez bryant, michael crabtree, i think those three names shows that deion knows what hes doin.  also the fact that these guys dont give a shit about authority and are all willing to dispute their contracts for unreasonably long periods of time and try and make ridiculous amounts of money just like their mentor shows that he is teaching em good morals and ethics and other meaningless crap

though to be honest, im slightly concerned about deion... and that he is building an army of super athletic strong willed monsters (or ceos not employees as he put it) and im gonna be too damn old and lazy to be a part of it. 

hes making a private school that focuses on sports and learning.  Cuz he knows a good athlete is a smart one.  (I heard it on the T. Ocho Show - an amazingly budget but watchable tv show that is shit wrapped in seaweed and sprinkled with caviar)
Deion, after blowing T.O. for awhile, plugged his burgeoning boarding school (inspired by his youth football teams) - TRUTH (he was wearing the hoodie, im getting one)
Its an acronym and stands for some brilliant maxims... the T is Trust in god.

MuSiC iS mYy LiFe

The importance of music is generally overstated. People used to say on their myspace profiles things like: “music is my life” “i can't live without music” shit like that. Well I think they are full of shit. Things like “breathing is my life” or “i love all different kinds of water except country” would be more appropriate. For some people music really is a big deal, those people who are good at playing/composing it. But for other people who are good at listening to music? Fuck off. Music is a great tool of marketers, and indeed music is a [failing] business. Throughout the last half century music consumption was marketed and sold as a means towards coolness and establishment of a personal brand. Indeed music must be described as one of the greatest marketing successes of all time. A great deal of people partially if not completely define their very existence as a human being by their taste in music, which is, at the same time, a consumer good. No one ever defines themself by their choice in laundry detergent. “i love liquid detergent” or on the about me of their social networking profile “im really into hypoallergenic laundry powder” I don't hate music or anything, I often listen to it in the car, or when I am playing beer pong. I'm just saying, some people take it a bit seriously, like its some big fucking deal what kind of music you listen to. I care about as much about the coolness of music as I do about the coolness of socks. In fact getting all worked up about your personal taste in a consumer good is just silly. Sure it is important, but let's keep it all relevant. 

if u think your choice in music makes you cool, you actually look like this. With a matrix comic sans font. honestly. I dont even feel bad if music as a viable business fails, and there is no more mariah carey style 10000x platinum artists ever again. and fuck the rolling tones too. in fact i hope it does. no more music biz. just 3D movies, cable news and internet porn, the only choices for corporate entertainment.