SWINE FLU and BUllshit

caring is uncool

2011-10-02T13:26:00.000-04:00

lately over on the facebook i have been seeing alot of my friends writing shit like "those occupy wall st protesters are mad dumb, im mad smart because i have a business degree". It seems as though in the current climate, for some reason it is uncool to give a shit. anyone who expresses an opinion about unfairness or fucked-upedness in economics or politics is laughed at. everyone is too busy checking out dubstep remixes or jogging or some shit. i dont even know. it just doesnt make sense to me, maybe most of my friends dont actually know any poor people. maybe they think the complaints of the occupy wall st protestors are uninformed or sophomoric. this is how they are being portrayed in the media. there was a ny times editorial that basically said they are confused and dont know anything. the problem is obviously that pretty much anything that appears in a mainstream media outlet is pushing an agenda supporting status quo. being the "paper of record" basically means that the ny times is a paid schill for whichever fascist currently sits in the whitehouse. you know what groups of people were really killing it under fascism? industrialists and bankers, the very same people currently shitting on everyone else in america. what i dont understand is why people from all across the economic spectrum think its fine to be an apologist for these pigs. there was a thing in the economist where they polled people and basically americans dont mind income disparity. by and large people dont think they should have more money relative to rich people. somehow you are supposed to feel bad about the MILLIONAIRES TAX. a million dollars is a FUCKING TON of money. shit after taxes i wonder if most people earn that in their lifetime. (i couldnt be bothered to actually do the math) the media has done such a good job convincing poor saps that they need rich people to stay stupid rich in order for them to get sloppy shitty handouts. people have been convinced that unions are bad. maybe if people are dumb enough to believe that shit they deserve all this. if you vote republican you deserve to be foreclosed on, and you should be in debt for your shitty college degree that wont get u a good job. I just dont understand why nobody seems to care. at least there is equal opportunity indifference and they didnt join the tea party.

remember when gorski used to write too?

2011-08-05T00:39:00.000-04:00

whenever i listen to strawberry jam (Animalhoof 2007 jam) i am immediately flooded with feeling of drugmt induced mirth, hallucinations and apathy. Its awesome. Broadcast's Tender Buttons is a smoky melange of contemplative solitude, blanketing darkness, perpetual philosophical meandering, and now grief (RIP trish.. sorry i didnt write an mournful blog entry bout u, i was in ireland... this will have to do). WHen i hear brightblack morning light's s/t album, motion becomes meaningless and i am eternally subdued and amused by a foggy pot storm of complacent indifference. WHen i listen to panda bros tomboy... now available through the internetssss... i wonder how am i ever gonna warmly reflect on this ultra hip chillwave album if i dont have any money for drugs...

that was a good paragraph and it was all abotu shit i dont know anything about. whole different angle

STONE WASHED BALONEY

2011-08-04T15:49:00.000-04:00

Baloney Meat Sandwiches. I first heard the expression "Going Ham" from the Pill song "Trap Goin Ham". It Predates the lame Jay Z and Kanye West song. in Trap goin ham he says somethign about "Balogna meat." I liked the expression very much, given how partial i am to balogna meat sandwiches of all varieties. Rick Ross once said something about crab meats, but i think baloney meats are more better. I have been in Rhinebeck with no one for company but three spoiled, misbehaving dogs. i crave balogna meat. i think tonight i am going to get some baloney. i cant fucking wait. tomorrow was going to be the worst day ever, but instead i am going to get baloney, mow some lawn, check out CCS and fuckkkng chiiillllll.

for whom the bell tolls

2011-07-30T11:35:00.000-04:00

the bell tolls for healy's corners.

softball is the best sport. it allows you to chill. softball is a sport you can play forever, you do not need to be in good shape or anything. it is mad fun, and i love it

HP 7 Part II:::AKA HP 8

2011-07-18T17:50:00.000-04:00

I watched Harry Potter Part 8 last night. it was fukcing awesome. Voldemort really hammed it up. He pretty much turned as goofy and ridiculous as a bond villain by the end. there were lots of times where i was like use your fucking magic harry. when the headress thign was on top of the chair pile and he starts climbing up it, i wanted to be like come on fool use a "knockdownthechairpile" spell. idk a few times he was running around and he would be like damn a metal gate whatever am i to do? fucking blast it with the gatefucking spell. the best was how harry was playing dead while voldemort was going on and on about shit then HP was like SUCK A FAT ONE I WAS ONLY PLAYING!!!! he bounded back to life and kicked voldemort's head in. i had completely forgotten the book. daniel radcliffe is hilarious he is a pretty bad actor. i loved the 19 yrs later bit. they stuffed a cushion under ron's shirt, and then you are supposed to believe emma watson looked a day over 22. it was BAAALLLLLLIN> i fucking love u emma watson. if u ever reading this emma watson i want to get married.

Yeah buddy

2011-07-17T20:16:00.000-04:00

Am making blog post with the iPad. Drug dealers are the worst. If anyone performed at their job as bad as a drug dealer they would totally be fired. Fuxxx that shit imagine if John bobbin had all kinds of different attachments for his cut off dick. The shocker, fists anything

looks like the only thing casey anthony is guilty of is being hottt

2011-07-07T21:38:00.000-04:00

i mean really.

i rlly think it wasnt murder tho. maybe negliegence. suck a fat one nancy grace.

the dumnbest music

2011-06-11T18:15:00.000-04:00

today on the radio i listened to the dumbest music

george thorogoood is retarded. all the songs sound the same. the lyrics are really duuummmb this shit is like southern rap

these lyrics are fucking real its like bob dylan
T.N.T.
I'm Dynamite (oi oi oi)
T.N.T.
And I'll win the fight (oi oi oi)
T.N.T.
I'm a power-load (oi oi oi)
T.N.T.
Watch me explode

cops and referees

2011-06-05T18:11:00.000-04:00

I fucking hate referees. i have encountered like maybe one or two decent ones in my whole life (this only pertains to soccer) the kind of people who ref instead of playing are always the biggest douches. they have a smug self satisfaction and are clearly overpaid. usually they don't know the rules, can't tell the difference between a legit foul and a dive, are stupid, fat, in the way of play, and unbelievably self confident. it's funny how the least competent people are the most sure of their abilities. to be fair reffing a a team of mexicans from newburgh is never going to be easy, but still. this is why i feel not the least bit bad about abusing the referee for the entire game, whether i be a spectator or a player. after the game i make sure to tell the ref that he/she has done a horrible job and whatever they are being paid is too much.
IN the same way that i hate refs i also hate cops. they are basicly the same. cops are the dickheads fucking up the game of life. i want life to be a casual pick-up game. unfortunately the man and his army of referees (police) make it into a fucking cup final every day. cops are like referees in their misguided sense of self righteousness and competency. The reaaaalllly stupid and unfunny cop one-liners and little jokes they make at the expense of whoever they are fucking with are terrible. if you really want to know how dumb pigs are listen to their conversations when they are off duty in the bar. they are like mental retards let loose with guns. it must be the first thing they look for when you enter the police academy; IQ under 100? make a great cop. in all honesty i have never encountered a chill cop on duty. i have only ever gotten shit from them and had to endure mind numbing lectures and other shit. like don't lecture me pig i am literally twice as smart as you. maybe there are chill cops, i just havent ever encountered one.

this is typical cop behavior: stupid, belligerent, lazy (via retarded little car), fat, can't stop talking.

DOs and DONTs

2011-05-26T17:39:00.000-04:00

look over there; it's McLovin on a European vacation.

HOLD on a sec fooooll ... but btw...

2011-05-24T23:16:00.002-04:00

this is hot fire, mostly cuz of ma boy willem dafriend killin it

think what they are trying to say is... when u go to nyc to chill wit ur homies and be mad hip, drink jim beam or some even cheaper whiskey so that u can save some bills and open up a bar in detroit... smart moves

Evan, you need to check your boy

2011-05-18T17:55:00.000-04:00

im waiting to really get down to business but so much ammunition has been provided that i believe the time is nigh to really clown on a clown. a real clown. going to get a clowning.

2011-05-11T01:06:00.003-04:00

art

2011-05-09T22:14:00.000-04:00

I'm not really qualified to write about art, having been a history major in college, but i did take a few art history classes, and take a small interest in the arts, especially when my friends have made them. not so much music though, solo los arts visual. neways i checked out adams film show, which felt more like being in a aquarium, which was a vibe i rlly liked (instead of a film senior project that is a movie screening as many others are). i love aquariums (no troy mcclure) boats and shit. photo show. that was fun too.

i hate my job

2011-05-07T15:43:00.000-04:00

couldn't find the real video with the original version.

osama bin laden: shot in bed

2011-05-03T23:30:00.001-04:00

i dont really like all the cheering after osama bin laden died. it reminds me of some shit they would do in one of the ignorant third world countries that hate america. cheering on 9/11. this is the same kind of dumb. this kind of makes america look bad, and is the most see-through kind of blatant jingoistic pandering. funny from a man who promised "hope" and "change". not to mention that the whole story sounds suspect as shit. since when did they bother with islamic funeral tradition for the thousands of other muslims killed in the war on terror.

this video is great. i like how all the conspiracy theories (all of which i believe in) were worked into the one video. i just saw natural born killers, i thought it was heavy handed message about violence in the media or some shit, but still good, then i saw all the bin laden shit, and maybe thats sort of how things are.

YEAH BUDDY!

2011-04-30T13:44:00.000-04:00

aint nothin to it but to do it. nothin but a peanut

LIGHTWEIGHT
everybody wants to be a body builder, dont nobody want to lift this heavy ass weight, ill do it tho.

Saki and Sake = Bougie and Boozy

2011-04-22T14:59:00.002-04:00

"The great galleon lay in semi-retirement under the sand and weed and water of the northern bay where the fortune of war and weather had long ago ensconced it. Three and a quarter centuries had passed since the day when it had taken the high seas as an important unit of a fighting squadron - precisely which squadron the learned were not agreed. The galleon had brought nothing into the world, but it had, according to tradition and report, taken much out of it. But how much? "

^ sick prose

and like the ship that this speaks of, saki's writing also laid hidden waiting to be uncoverd by me. He was a brit with sarcasm, smooth style, a taste for decadence and disdain for a society that scorned his "lifestyle choices". Totes like me!... cept his lifestyle choices were to be oscar wylin (wit dudes) and mine are to just wyle out on partyin. But was Saki [H. H. (Hector Hugh... gots to steal that name) Munro] a mindset predecessor???... for sure.

his satirical wit and casual humor is def worthy of envy.
And fortunately this website makes his style accessible for quick consumption at all times (almost like a blog from 100 years ago) http://haytom.us/

pretty sick if u dont have no money for books and cable and stuff...

but then again if ur cool like me u read first editions.

btws ... how can u not appreciate a dude that cherishes the drinkin of green chartreuse
"Personally, I can't see where the difficulty in choosing suitable presents lies. No boy who had brought himself up properly could fail to appreciate one of those decorative bottles of liqueurs that are so reverently staged in Morel's window--and it wouldn't in the least matter if one did get duplicates. And there would always be the supreme moment of dreadful uncertainty whether it was creme de menthe or Chartreuse--like the expectant thrill on seeing your partner's hand turned up at bridge. People may say what they like about the decay of Christianity; the religious system that produced green Chartreuse can never really die. "

zack galifinwackis

2011-04-19T21:38:00.000-04:00

zack galifinakis i do not find funny. he always seems like he is trying too hard. often movies and stuff have dumb shit that you are required to suspend disbelief for. in true blood the guy who turns into a dog, what if he were to impregnate a dog. would the offspring become a dog? or maybe a dog that could turn into a person. if he turns into a dog but is still thinking like a human, would his half dog child maybe turn into a person that was as dumb as a dog? he would transform into a naked, slobbering stupid human. he would just eat dog food and pant.

how crazy is the celtics-knicks game tho

CAMRON making movies again

2011-04-14T20:26:00.001-04:00

MEmoRies pt. II

2011-04-13T17:34:00.001-04:00

Sometimes i wonder how many meaningful experiences I have. for years now every day has gone on to the next and every week on to the next. It always surprises me how quickly a month goes by. shit every week is a blur. what have i done in all this time? I often have a feeling that I don't have enough time to take care of all the shit I want/need to do. this isn't true, but it is how i feel.
After the last few years all i have is some stories about drinking. I feel like kenny powers, except as a washed up student not baseball player. I think that stories about drinking are all that many people have to show for themselves. well some people have a future and other things. they are herbs. people who have their shit together are probably herbs. )DEFNINITELY HERBS)

AciD MeMOrIEs

2011-04-09T10:06:00.004-04:00

boards (of canada for u noobs) have an ep/mad early release titled that and when i was but a wee youth listening to it i wondered if the relaxin ambient thrills and chills that rushed through my body were akin to actual acid memories. Daydreamin about drugs is kinda weird when ur but a tyke, but totally worth it. Drugs are awesome. I just awoke from a dream in whcih i was trippin on acid. My brain remmebred the effect so perfectly that i was able to enjoy all the sublime characteristics of trippin includin... openness, social unawareness/kinda awkwardness, entertaining hallucinations, heightened sense of touch, artistic genius, displaced feeling of being... and many other fantastic sensations.

its kinda like this for all u nooby druggy bros

whenever i listen to strawberry jam (Animalhoof 2007 jam) i am immediately flooded with feeling of drugmt induced mirth, hallucinations and apathy. Its awesome. Broadcast's Tender Buttons is a smoky melange of contemplative solitude, blanketing darkness, perpetual philosophical meandering, and now grief (RIP trish.. sorry i didnt write an mournful blog entry bout u, i was in ireland... this will have to do). WHen i hear brightblack morning light's s/t album, motion becomes meaningless and i am eternally subdued and amused by a foggy pot storm of complacent indifference. WHen i listen to panda bros tomboy... now available through the internetssss... i wonder how am i ever gonna warmly reflect on this ultra hip chillwave album if i dont have any money for drugs...

(more acid gifs... sooo gooooood wooooo)

2 balls one cup

2011-04-08T21:52:00.000-04:00

REMEMEBR THAT BRO!!! lolz "to be better than someone is to be worse than all" lolz. when u get beat by 2 noobs at beer pong how does it feel???

OH THIS CURSED OGRABME

2011-04-07T20:04:00.000-04:00

damn it how he nicks 'em!
the fed loved this cartoon, a staple of high school social studies DBQ questions.
The Fed is a mindset predecessor in the same mold as MIchael Roberts, Byron Crawford,
etc.

wrongly maligned barry bonds

2011-04-04T18:09:00.001-04:00

barry bonds gets punished for being too good. it is true. he might not have even done steroids, he never admitted it or tested positive. what is known is that he is actually one of the best hitters ever. he gets no cred because he is unapologetically good. he wont bow down to the bob costas whiteboy fandom, or the bro shit over at espn. he doesnt give a shit. barry bonds grew up with money and fame, he isnt humble or appreciative. basically he was born rich, is a phenomenal athlete and that's that. why should he put on some kind of humility act? some athletes are arrogant (tiger, cristano ronaldo, kobe, lebron) but make very halfhearted attempts at presenting some kind of relatable facade. these halfhearted attempts please the sports media and usually they present these athletes in a positive light, paving the way for endorsements and whatnot. barry bonds does not give a FUCKKKK.

talking to his lawyer

this guy is prosecuting barry bonds. he is an asshole.

greg anderson is tough, he goes to jail instead of testifying

this slut used to bone barry bonds, now she is testifying
against him

the government is clearly riddled with waste. how, when we run a deficit every year can they afford to prosecute barry bonds. every person taking part in the prosecution's case should be tried for treason. they are bankrupting this country and slandering a great american.

laziness as an evolutionary trait

2011-04-01T18:09:00.001-04:00

thats the troof btws. If u didnt know, u shoudl realize cuz the world would be better off if everyone jsut decided to relax a little & work a little less (thus allowing others to get some work and hang outs wit them all). If we develop a trait of laziness that becomes dominant in the massive gene pool then we will be able to slow down population growth and not having to kill peeps off thereby maintain some unsustainable resources, and b more easily satisfied with our banal existences. all we gotta do is b lazy and not do stuff so much (like driving and eating and procreating and businessing and sporting and other such energy expending tasks).

When im not being lazy i gotta go to some auction house and work for free and shit cuz im dumb. The other day while we were sellin mad books and shit, i had to watch over our stash and some dood came up and wanted to see the jfk material (shoutout to my wylin boss who gots an interview on channel 6 bout that shit yesterday, woooo!?!?!). Dood would not stop ravin about how depressin it was that two guys got killed for no reason (jfk and oswald). I indulged his ramblings and let him verbally jizz in my ear for about an hour on how the cias a bitch and all, because well u gots to entertain the customer i guess. But anyways the whole time i couldnt help but think, whats this dood trying to achieve by buying all of jfks pens and shit. Like is he making a shrine where he can reincarnate the guy and he can save us from the evil obamicator? i dont knows i feel liek with all the time this dood has spent on conspiracy theorizing hes got to have realized that all those politic shits are just distractions in order to make us public feel connected, therefore the best use of his money would be to rebel/ buy drugs/ get completely disconnected from everything.

btws not advocating doing drugs, stuffs mad bads for u! ( just fake it and piss off ur fam and the law)

10.0 and beyond.

2011-04-01T00:43:00.000-04:00

i bet pitchforxxx (tm) want to take back their my beautiful dark twisted self indulgent lyrically weak over hyped fantasy review. it could be the quickest about face ever. surely now people realize it was all about the hyyype. some kind of old rappers said dont believe the hype. everyone did. kanye west, always seeking artisitc relevance probabl jizzed himself about the pitchfork review. shit he full on went for a good alt review when it came to this album. mashing up the rappers with ironic/not ironic hip appeal (ross, pusha, etc. ) with his patented major label hype machine loudly proclaiming the genius of his production. hmmmmm. i love kanye west sometimes. when he called goerige bush out for not liking alt ppl. but my kardashian fanstassy was a bit too much. he now believes his own hype. because he is rich and successful, no rapper will ever come out with a diss track. thats how it works. i wish jay z had to becoem ja rule when nas, prodigy and camron were hating on him. FACT nas, prodigy and camron are better than jay-z.
CCCCHHHHIIIILLDDSSS PLLLAAAAYYYYYYYYYY

soccer, work and the claddagh

2011-04-01T00:22:00.000-04:00

MAAAANNn, i went went out last weekend for the first time in a minute. i had mad fun. didnt get so f-ed the f up that i had a hangOVER. i was just CHILLING> nah mean . thikning about starting a tumbler. i think it is like a blog that is image focused. i think you get alot of hits if you focus on one specific kind of naked/half naked woman picture. (aka cleagave,tumbly.org or u know shit like that) typing is bullshit. i fucking hate it. all of my communicatons i want to have in person or on phone. i also hate phone. i caneled my cell phone planm. if ur my fwend u can call my house phone. or we can do google instant messanger. f- yeah!. srsly tho. i am over all of the texty. no mas texty for me. i had 2 beers at work then 6 in the bar, thursday is hardcore. LULSSSS.

ODD FUTuRE [byrd] gang of juggleohs can't hang w/ YO's finest./ i

How Much Oil is 1 stick butter?

2011-03-25T21:07:00.000-04:00

trying to make baloney brownies is hard stuff. u have to do so much thinking and shit, using the internet. how many sticks of butter is half a cup of butter? then how much baloney goes in per butter stick. or 1/3 oil cups? gaawwwd, who can rlly figure all that out?

alex jones is bfflzz w/ charlie sheen.

LEAVE GADDAFI ALONE!!!

2011-03-22T19:43:00.002-04:00

Why doesn't anyone feel bad for gaddafi? He's just a guy who has a country, and now some asshole have tried to fuck up his country. i have respect for qaddafi. the other fuckers in egypt, tunisia, etc. just rolled over and gave in to a few douschebag college kids in a public park. qaddafi thought about his options, realized that he would not be bested by some twitter and fucking turned on the fire hoses. now everyone is tight like "qaddafi is fighting the rebels" as if any government would allow some douschbags to try and overthrow it violently, without some manner of fight.

YEAH BUDDY!

You can tell that gadafi isnt probably as bad as he is made out to be, because of how hard certain publications and media outlets call for his removal. the biases of the US media are so evident, that when they espouse one opinion, you can be certain the other is true.
Gaddafi's greatest crime is that he is a crook enriching himself at the expense of his constituents. this makes him as bad as every single other politician in the entire world.
Gaddafi wears outrageous clothing, however other publications have already addressed this.

substitute gaddafi for britney in his monologue. it is basically the same thing.

another game show post

2011-03-21T20:55:00.004-04:00

... wouldnt that be depressin if it were true. If the only things i payed attention to/cared about were game shows during a period of time when all humans should be mourning. I think one could argue that the japanese have evolved to a state surpassing mortal man, such that we should treat them as even more sacred than Americans. I mean i wouldnt cuz thatd be mad racist or soemthin... so instead im gonna discuss game shows.

and my personal pleasures and disgusts.

was watchin that show that use to have that old orange guy and now has that guy that use to be fat... oh yeah, price is right, and was surprised to realize that there were no old people. Concerning for a variety of reasons. 1 - are old people dying, well yeah duh, but like is some soylent green shit goin down, are we killin off the old peeps and processing them into a bountiful food source for all of us more important less ugly young people? 2 - are kids buyin all the tickets online before the old people figure out that their comp aint brok3 its just got a screen saver. 3 - are kids so bored and out of works that they think they can just furnish their new bk apt. by wildin out on price is right. 4 - not really related but have u seen bob barker on that car insurance commercial, i think hes dead, really only a taxidermist could make a human look so much like a plastic orange howler monkey. (would be kinda cool if he turned into a crazy cool monkey before/after death as a real rebellious act of defiance for animal rights)

(RIP BOB)

in reality kinda concerned about kids these days, all lazy and boring and shit, they should get jobs... nah fuck that, thats almost as bad as tellin em to go to college. What they really need to get are some personalities, interests, maybe opinions...

i like it

http://kathack.com/
i really like it

i really really like it

i dislike it

i really dislike it

I realy really dislike it

Jeopardy meets JuGgALos

2011-03-17T20:33:00.003-04:00

Could u really ever imagine such a thing? Jeopardy tends to separate itself from the more deplorable parts of society. BUt tonite in a double jeopardy 2000 dollar clown-themed question. they asked the name of the band (with identifying picture) whose followers were known as juggalos.

A stupefying question for sure... but perhaps most shocking about it was that the dude in the lead (who is a boss and has been while maintaining an impressive amount of confidence and composure) said with a grimace... insane clown posse...

dude was sooo disappointed in jeopardy and so disappointed that he just revealed to the world that he knew who icp and the juggalos were.

Think it had to be some practical joke the writers of jeopardy were playing on they who think they are gods.

I mean what self-respecting show would really want to have an image of these fools (in the truest sense of the word) displayed on their program

shaggy 2 dope & Violent J (note: i do not know their names, carlos who majors in horticulture and chills wit hicks all day knows their names)

aint no fun if the homies cant get none (or you are dead)

2011-03-16T18:37:00.000-04:00

Nate Dogg died, which came as no surprise to me, because i had heard he was all fucked up and sickly and on the verge of death like 2 yrs ago. this just follows the general theme of the rap music world right now. if someone really hates themself they should listen to cipha sounds and rosenberg on hot 97. they are complete shit. occasionally one of those 2 can be funny, but they have this awful girl sidekick called k. foxx. she exists just to toe the music industry line. she never has a negative word about any new music, she is just like a black miss info. miss info is the worst. sure she has all kinds of exclusives probably from s-ing on the collective dicks of the dipsets ad nauseum for yrs. she is supposed to be some kind of journalist, yet she comes off as a shit cheerleader for major label rap music. then if someone does something bad like beat up rihanna then she has some trite moralism in keeping with general lamestream sensibilities. and nate dogg died but the morning show couldn't even play a whole song (they should have only played his songs) they played like a shitty 30 second medley. and rosenberg goes [awkwardly] "he had so many good songs", or some shit like that. i suppose drake and nicki minaj's overlords pay the radio station to play their songs, bedamned if a seminal rap figure died. does being on the radio/ a blogger make you a "journalist"? are journalists held to any kind of standards? if they desperately seek exclusive songs and whatnot, in return for non-stop glowing press about said songs are they just a piece of shit responsible for how bad music is?

so you wanna be hardcore

2011-03-09T17:40:00.000-05:00

with your hat to the back talking bout the gats in your raps.
today 14 yrs ago the greatest rapper (and most likely songwriter) in the history of pop music died. RIP to the late, great christopher wallace

Defamation of the Last True Artform

2011-03-09T14:55:00.003-05:00

I should take it for granted that every livign being has seen the benny benassi video. It is the first thing on utube after typing in satisfaction and has over 4.3 million views. Due to its popularity the four women: Jerri Byrne, Thekla Roth, Natasha Mealey and Lena Frank have become households names. The video is as iconic as Warhol's marilyn monroes, not to mention as equally bright and sexy/stylish.

But just in case u forgot hear it is:

and its sexy sister:

After being sent the granny version of Satisfaction today by an incredibly tech savvy artist of incomparable talents, i watched the video and was aghast. I felt like coolio after Weird Al ruined his career.

Sexy women videos have been around since the origin of filmmaking. If one wants to capture something beautiful, the best choice is inevitably the most beautiful thing in existence, the female form. Artists spend years upon years contemplating the female body in order to undestand its perfection. So when one crew of cinematographer, director, makeup artist, costumer, lightng tech, and choreographer devise a way to display the female form on video in a state of beauty never captured before, it is nothing less than earthshattering. It is a piece to contemplate and cherish for many years, until its brilliance is undercut by utter blasphemy. Aging is not something to take lightly, it is the sorry plight that will constantly bring every man closer to death and away from the virility of youth. The human body ages like a flower withers, which undeniably is a generic symbol of grief, sadness, loneliness and death. The wonderful things that satisfaction once symbolized are now forgotten amidst foolishly naive comedic efforts that are in fact devastating reminders of the mortality of humanity and that death lingers.

I Like IT!

2011-03-06T16:41:00.000-05:00

luvz it when i get nagged at (pseudo intervention) for smelling like booze at my cousins birthday party...

ssoooo sickkkk

moms are sooo effin chill

i got u alexis dziena

2011-03-04T19:37:00.001-05:00

i believe the awesomeness of this movie was already discussed with loads of enthusiasm
but looking at this shot reminds me of the subtlety brilliant cinematography in the film... perhaps though a little more effort could be put into the costumes...

alexis def could benefit from a little bit of this

the left lane is for passing

2011-03-03T19:19:00.000-05:00

usually when i am driving to work shit is fine, but in the afternoon, all of the old people and other kinds of people who should not be allowed to drive, come out to make my drive home shitty. like when a road goes from 2 lanes to 1, some asshole guns it out of the light, then once you are stuck behind him he slows right down to 45 in 55. At that point i lose all control, and start praying (out loud) that said asshole will be stricken with a sudden, and fatal, physical ailment (heart attack, stroke, etc.) that will cause them to drive off the road, and allow me to go round them. i also hate traffic at rush hour, when it is for shit like the mall. ok im coming home from work, but you decided to go to the mall at 4.30. i hate u. usually i want to go home and shit, every moment's delay is angering me worse. people who drive slowly in the left lane should be publicly executed. the left lane is the PASSING LANE. you use it to pass. not to drive along reaalllly fucking slowly in your old piece of shit car. who doesnt know that? didnt we all take the same road test? do you love being in the car? i fucking hate being in the car. i view all time spent driving as wasted. therefore i try not to spend too much time in the car, even though i do around an hour and a half every day.

why is everyone passing me? im so confused? why am i not dead yet?

Im not bipolar... im biwinning!!!

2011-03-01T13:16:00.007-05:00

i know this shit just got played out real quick but just a note of interest. sheen saying hes biwinning is obvi analogous to mel gibson saying he can stop whenever he wants. Dont wanna really post any video just really like the term biwinning and probs gonna use it in the future.

for instance

some asshole at a party - "dude, whats ur problem??? why u knock over the beer pong table, u just fuckin lost and we only have 20 cups, other people get to play too, fucker."

me being awesome - "what... ??? lost... I didnt lose, im fuckin biwinning"

(kinda sounds like im callin myself a winning bisexual... maybs dont wanna use that term all that much)

*other note of irritation: reading up on my wikipedia today and learning about american modernism and elitist intellectuals and stuff. Cant believe we allow intellectuals to succeed in living off of such cheap scams. Asian american artist spends 13 years doing his final piece of performance art, in which he claims he will be creating art every day but not showing anyone. At the end of it when asked what he made - he said his work was surviving.

truthfully, kinda like chris burden, but really... who's more biwinning, the guy who nailed himself to a VW for art or a ranting charlie sheen?

i gots to start being an elitist intellectual so i can write goofy prose about abstract artsy and philosophical topics that are so tentious that normal people are forced to buy them just so their friends might think theyre smart

also could get cute librarian bookish type school girl chick or artsy spacey bohemian city chick cuz im being so professorial and academic and shit, that might be sweet

ODFWGKTAICP

2011-02-27T18:43:00.000-05:00

Odd future clown posse:::::::: this is from byron crawford for xxl, but it was taken down from xxl's website so i found it on google cache.

What if a group came along that was obviously a black variation on Insane Clown Posse, but no one seemed to notice or give a shit, because they were black, and because no one (who has a computer) knows enough about juggalos to say for certain whether or not someone actually is a juggalo, and because they’ve been championed by people who see themselves as being above listening to juggalo music. It looks like this is what’s happening with Odd Future.
Odd Future has been the talk of the hip-hop Internets for the past couple of weeks, especially amongst people who are constantly trying to figure out the next big thing and attach themselves to it, regardless of what it is. No shots at the late, great Combat Jack. Oddly enough (no pun intended), they didn’t merit inclusion on the cover of this year’s Freshmen Issue, the hilarious cover of which was revealed yesterday, even though it’s a well known fact that Odd Future is secretly signed to Interscope, one of the main
[yframe url='http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8CyMuBi-kH8']
pipelines to the cover of the Freshmen Issue and to the cover of XXL in general. I wonder if this was a mere matter of rank ineptitude by my benefactors at the dead tree version of XXL, like that time they included OJ da Juice Man (ayyyy) in the Freshman 10, despite the fact that he’d already been on the cover a few months prior(?!), and Wacka Flocka Flame ended up being the breakout star amongst Gucci Mane weed carriers, or if the TIs at Interscope didn’t want Odd Future on the cover of this issue, for whatever reason. They might not see people who read XXL – illiterate children, people in prison, men who like women of jurassic proportions (short arms and everything) – as being the primary demographic for Odd Future.
Odd Future made their big television debut the other day on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon, or whatever it was called, and man was it the talk of the Internets. I can only imagine what it was like at the time on Black People Twitter. It must have been as obnoxious as when everyone all of a sudden starts talking about sports. Remember that time, a few years ago, when BET held some sort of awards show, and all of these ultra-obscure black entertainers (I’m talking Keith Sweat obscure) started trending, and white went all batshit? Up until that point, no one had been aware that Twitter is mostly used by black people, because black people tend to go on there at night, while people who work for a living are asleep. In the morning, there might be some weird shit like #uainthittingitright in the trending topics, but it’d be gone by 10 AM. These days, there’s enough black people on Twitter to dominate at all hours of the day and night. But that’s not why I wasn’t there during Odd Future’s performance on Fallon. I was probably busy either working like a Hebrew slave, self-medicating or making the most of this Reality Kings password, which somehow still works – which I guess could be included under self-medicating, but I like to keep my pr0n consumption and my alcohol consumption separate, because it makes me feel like a more well-rounded individual.
I didn’t get a chance to check out their performance until the next day. I awoke from my drink and fap-induced coma at the ass crack of one in the afternoon or whatever (which has been a real problem for me lately), logged on to the Internets, and that’s all anyone wanted to talk about. Seemingly every blog there ever was posted the video. People were still talking about it on Black People Twitter 12+ hours after the fact – which is like a week later in Internets. They don’t even talk about people who died for 12 hours, unless they died at night, and people were asleep, and so they didn’t get to pretend as if they give a shit. You would think that this Odd Future appearance on Fallon was roughly the equivalent of a circa ’93 Biggie Smalls making his television debut on that show Jon Stewart used to have on MTV, or whatever was big back in 1993. Let’s just say Martin, since I remember Biggie Smalls was once on an episode of Martin, and since I see this site is running huge, ridonkulous banner ads for Martin reruns. #culturalrelevancefail I hightailed it to Pitchfork to check out this video, out of a sincere interest to see something that good, and because I’ve been meaning to check out Odd Future anyway, since I read something in the Village Voice about how every song they ever made has to do with rape. Not that I find that kind of thing amusing, but I need to see for myself, like when my grandfather would purposely drive past the ho stroll on our way to church, back during the crack era.
The song Odd Future did on Fallon could have been all about rape, but it’s hard to say, what with the guy trying to rap through a ski mask, and jumping around all over the place like the monkey exhibit at the St. Louis Zoo. It could have been a song about that Jodie Foster movie The Accused, for all I know. I’ll have to reserve judgment on Odd Future until if/when I get a chance to hear them rap while standing still. In the meantime, I’m more concerned with the fact that they seem to exhibit juggalo tendencies. This first occurred to me when I saw them perform the other day on Fallon, jumping up on the furniture, getting all up in people’s faces, yelling at the top their lungs, which struck me as a real dick move, like cornering someone and them spraying them down with Faygo root beer. It occurred to me that you could probably run down the entire litany of juggalo characteristics and find some sort of connection with Odd Future. Insane Clown Posse, for example, has its origin in ’90s-era horrocore rap. I’ve heard Odd Future’s music described as horrorcore. I heard one of them even ate a roach, in the video that started that hilarious beef between Noz and eskay on Twitter the other day. Insane Clown Posse performs in Kiss-style face paint. The guy from Odd Future wore a ski mask on Fallon the other day. Odd Future is said to be obsessed with rape. A group of juggalos famously tried to rape Tila Tequila at last year’s annual Gathering of the Juggalos. Insane Clown Posse’s fanbase consists primarily of guys who live in their mother’s basements. Noz should probably consider moving back in with his parents, if he’s out here soliciting for donations like Lil Kim, or Jean Grae, who was trying to get money via PayPal before it was all trendy. (I see you, boo.) In fact, Nozologist that I am (nullus), I seem to recall him trying to bone up on Insane Clown Posse a while, for the purposes of contrarianism I’m sure, but he probably couldn’t bring himself to go through with it, because their music hit a little too close to home.
If I’d heard any music from Insane Clown Posse and Odd Future, other than the hilarious “Miracles,” and whatever that was Odd Future did on Fallon, I’m sure I could come up with even more comparisons. Indeed, I think it’s been so difficult for the media to discuss anything having to do with juggalos, because no one with the sense god gave geese wants to spend the time it would take to seriously engage with their music. They got some press, around the time when “Miracles” blew up, but it was short-lived. (This may have coincided with Noz’s sudden, brief interest in them.) This became clear to me a few weeks ago, when that congresswoman got shot at a Subway down in Arizona. A few days later, I was reading this epic report in the New York Times, which really was one of the more impressive things they’ve ever done, right up there with that Times magazine piece on Chris Matthews, and it was so obvious to me that the kid they were describing was a juggalo, but the Times failed to draw the connection, either because none of the umpteen people who contributed reporting to the story know Jack Schitt about pop culture, or because they were wary about assigning blame for such a heinous crime, for legal reasons. At one point, one of the guys Jared Lee Loughner went to high school with even discussed how frustrated Loughner would get with trying to understand how magnets work. (No bullshit, you can look it up yourself.)
You really had to read between the lines to get at the essence of that story, which was that this kid was a juggalo, who had a hard time getting with women. Because he was a juggalo, natch. His juggalo antics caused him to get thrown out of school, at which point he became obsessed with congresswoman Gabrielle Giffords, similar to Robert De Niro’s obsession with Cybill Shepherd (who could blame him?) in the movie Taxi Driver. Apparently, this kid Loughner had met the congresswoman once before, at a campaign event in which he tried to ask her a question, but he didn’t get much of a response, because she couldn’t understand what he was trying to say – obviously because he was tongue tied, because he was smitten. Then he wrote her a letter apologizing. What a sucker. Normally, this is the point at which he would attempt to kill someone else, to impress her. Like her husband, who’s an astronaut, and obviously kind of a douche. He claimed he spoke to her while she was in a coma, like the rapist in the film Talk to Her (spoiler alert), and she told him he needed to go back into space. In Taxi Driver, it was the senator Charles Palatine, whom Cybill Shepherd worked for. John Hinckley, Jr. tried and (sadly) failed to kill Ronald Reagan, in an attempt to impress the aforementioned Jodie Foster, inspired by Taxi Driver. (See, it’s all connected!)
The difference between a juggalo and a regular nutjob is that a juggalo won’t even bother trying to kill the powerful man who stands between himself and his object of desire, which, on a Freudian level, might actually convince a woman to have sex with you. (I don’t want to hear any objection from women on this, unless they’ve had any actual experience with it.) The juggalo has been too hard up for too long. The juggalo is the American equivalent of those Japanese guys who spend their entire lives locked in their bedrooms, collecting Hello Kitty merchandise and fapping to weird anime pr0n, which, wouldn’t you know, often includes depiction of rape. Or so I’ve been told. We laugh at those poor Japanese guys, because they’re genuinely hilarious and because we’d like to think that there isn’t an analog here in the US, via “xenophobia.” But obviously there is. The juggalo movement, which has been around at least since I was in high school (I’m dangerously close to 30, has never been such a prevalent force in our society. That song “Miracles” was as big a hit as anything, in an age when the likes of Cake (2011 Cake) and Nicki Minaj can top the Billboard 200. The Gathering of the Juggalos was all over the news this past summer, in part due to the attempted sexual assault on Tila Tequila. (I wonder how this assault compared in severity to the “brutal, sustained” sexual assault on Lara Logan. Which struck me as similar in nature. But that’s a topic for another discussion.) And to top it all off a juggalo just attempted to assassinate a US congresswoman. I shutter to think what’s next. This could be a hot summer. Women might want to think twice about attending this year’s Gathering of the Juggalos, unless they’re desperate fat women.

What is Radiohead

2011-02-24T18:32:00.000-05:00

i dont think i could name a single radiohead song. i know they gave away the album on the internet a few years back. and HRO made fun of the new album. I dont think radiohead is the kind of music i like. Is radiohead a less laughable dave matthews? is radiohead popular with people who like to do drugs and shit? is radiohead down with rap music? is rap music down with radiohead? what do they sing about? are they a more alt version of coldplay?
Want people to enlighten me about radiohead.

FUcK DA MAN> IM Da MAN

2011-02-23T19:56:00.000-05:00

The man is real. the man makes you get a job that makes someone else rich, and u bored. the man makes u go to school as a child instead of having fun/working in a coal mine. (it preps you for the coal mine of the rest of your lyfe) the man says you cant have a good time and drive your car. The man does all sorts of shit. encourages you to have a family and produce more work slave children. The man was identified a long time ago and i knew, but then i forgot, but now i rememebreed. The man is called Panopticon-man. he was first discovered by jeremy bentham in the 1800s. his "unequal gaze" withered everyone. Everyone felt his stare, feared his reprisal before it happened, and followed his rules. this was actually an idea for a crazy prison where everyone would hate themself and the man.

this is panopticon and the homeplace of the man.
Michel Foucault finished figuring it out. everything is related into one giant discipline system. school, hospital, prison, military, government, law, court. They combine to form the man. The man wants to make u work for him so him and his boys (the media, industry, facebook shit like that, credit cards, atms, nasa, the bank) can make u their lifestyle slave.

the man is the worst.

licentious desires

2011-02-17T11:00:00.002-05:00

so recently i realized clowning on fbook might be my favorite pasttime... ever. Thats a guilty pleasure, for sure. But ive also come to the point of feeling guilty bout havin an fbook account. Shits so dumb, full of people trying to promote their meme in the most unoriginal way possible. I think the only viable or worthwhile meme on such an obnoxious website is fbook saboteur ... or fbook dooschbag.

The site allows u to click a button and profess ur liking for something. Definitely restrained and meaningles as u cannot dislike or show to what degree u like something. If one likes everything they see not only do people get loads of irritating notifications about it, but the mechanics of liking slowly begin to crumble.
(this is just one tactic to easily confuse and irritate ur friends on fbook)

og fubook dooschbag

honestly kidna feel like this^ dude is like he who must not be named and the internets is our form of wizardy.

on a much more awesome note... had such a sexy model in figure drawing today. petite, tan, boyish haircut, great modest tities, clean cut vag, and soft delicate voice and demeanor... and i know all of this without even speaking to her.

Def makes me perverted and guilty. Kinda feel like i fell in love with a stripper or prostitot. Worse part, how u spose to approach a chick after uve just stared at her mad nudes for 2 hours... feel like its impossible to not come off as a perverted molestor type. Just want to tell her shes a great model with rockin bod. Just want toooo drawwwwwwwwwwww... more nude babes

(kinda like this)

RIP Big L

2011-02-15T15:46:00.000-05:00

Big L is probably better than every rapper besides Biggie. As a statement of objective fact I think it is indisputable. Whenever someone kills it, then dies, they are, in a sense, lucky. everyone remembers them as beautiful and good. they are never old, pointless, just cashing in on their reputation. Rappers have a hard time fading away. it's much easier for them to just die, and their legacy is untainted by all of their lyrically weak old man cash-in songs (jay-z). or bloated concepts and bad production (nas) or irrelevency (all the rest of the old rappers who arent retired yet) Either way, Big L just made straight bangers, then he got shot when he was 24. Children of the Corn was such a sick idea. SOmetimes I imagine an alternate universe, where BIggie and Big L lived. SOuthern Rap stayed a regional thing with the odd novelty hit. 50 cent never made it. Jay Z stayed in the shadows. The new wave of pussy rappers like kanye and drake were forced to stay at their original jobs (producer and child actor). Fuck it BIg Pun lived too. there was nothing but good rap music. NIcki MInaj was a video ho and never yelled gibberish in funny voices(on a record). im so sad that everything went down the way it did. Everything bad started with all the good rappers dying. then came Bush, 9/11, all the wars, the shitty economy, Obama, etc. in my alternate universe all of that class music saved us from all of the bad shit.

There is a live version of the gang starr song full clip, with much big L RIPing, not just the one time from the regular one. today on the throwback at noon mr. cee played a half an hour of big L. it was diesel.

Valentine's Day

2011-02-14T22:35:00.001-05:00

Today i went out for dinner for a family friend's birthday. She turned 96 today. isnt that very old? She was born before the start of WWI. forget about WWII. please.

in a way these pictures are appropriate for valentines day. indeed all relationships eventually boil down into a ceaseless puddle of hatred, which would be best fought out with poisonous gasses and primitive tanks. It's pretty played out to bitch about relationships and shit on valentines day, im not trying to hate on peoples happiness. sure i think it is annoying, but i dont really think everyone winds up hating each other and shit. only like 50% of marriages end in divorce, and how few boy/girlfriends(or whatever combo thereof) ever even make it to marriage? if you look at it that way not all relationships end in hatred and sadness, only like 90%.

heartbeats. Some guy walked into the restaurant on his own, drank a beer and left. it would have been odd regularly, but even odder on valentines day.
St. Valentine is 14 diff. valentine's all of whom were martyred as catholics in imperial rome.

there is one of their dome pieces.
whatever this is just a bump in the road to st. patrick's day.

blood on your iphone

2011-02-12T20:17:00.001-05:00

Apparently the poor chinamen/women who manufacture iphones and ipads dont rlly like their job that much. They live in a crazy work prison, where all of their activities are micromanaged by their bosses and they have no down time evar basically.

looks like fun. They dislike the work prison so much that they routinely kill themselves. Even though Apple is the favored technology manufacturer of the cultural elite, and seem to promote the idea that user-friendly interface=morally upstanding, Steve JObs has no real problem with the people making his neat little google machines dying for them. I am reminded of some kind of 19th century steel mill or something, where all the immigrant laborers worked 12 hour shifts, and in the end they all got burned or crushed to death or deformity. INstead of the work actually destroying the iphone maker's bodies, like it does in heavy industry, it destroys their minds. In fact he thinks the work prison is pretty much fine, because it has fast food available. So i guess the only conclusion to be reached is that iPhones/iPads are immoral. If people cared about human rights or worker's rights any of that shit they might not purchase these items. you know, enriching a few uptight twats a la steve jobs, while poor chinamen leap to their death off of a factory roof. (In a bid to lighten the conscience of iphone users, apple co. shill and avowed steve jobs dickriding publication wired magazine talked positively about the anti suicide nets installed at the factory, and the relatively low proportion of workers who killed themselves. Is wired to apple what vice is to american apparel?)

WOOOOOOoooooo

2011-02-12T15:27:00.000-05:00

drivin into the beer distributor this mornin, windows down, techno blastin, dude gettin in his car turns around, and gives me possibly the most epic wooooo ever.

Boy was not clownin jsut bein the boss. Why arent more people as chill as this dude. Why dont more people realize that im on a killer bender. that im just tryin to party. Just came back from night of mayhem and drunkenness in philly and am goin back to go get another 24 pack of steel reserve (btws 15 bucks for 24, 16 oz. best deal on planet)

and now im watchin this.

yes. that was eddie murphy

MAKING ME FEEL UNCOMFORTABEL

2011-02-07T20:51:00.000-05:00

howard stern is kind of weird. people really loved that shit, but i think his cleverness lies in surrounding himself with people who are funnier than him.

Goodbye Grocer

2011-02-06T03:41:00.001-05:00

we miss u. not so much. we wish u were better.

SEPARATED at Birth????

2011-02-03T18:15:00.000-05:00

Julian from Trailer Park Boys. this is a critically acclaimed Tv Show about hilarious white-trash gangsters from ~~Poughkeepsie~~ Nova Scotia.

Noah Chasin, famous in a tentious sense, also Bard art History professor. He likes to big-up himself and wear bapes. also bullshit about buildings and architecture. he has the world's ugliest hat in his possession and wears it on field trips to nyc.

PusSY StoRm

2011-02-01T18:58:00.001-05:00

feel like theres already been a mad sweet title like this before. Dont remember though and really dont care. Just all pissed off by all the pussywillow herbs who be so soft theyre terricloth. Yeah if u have made small talk with any person living in america lately u have heard about some snow/ice thats gonna fall and make it so nobody can go to work.

THink its a joke, think no snow is comin... think its a conspiracy from terrorists that are just out to halt the american economy. Already heard about so many fools who are just not gonna go to work. About as pussy as clay matthews hair. straight crooked... and wait what troy is a fan of cher? what? Somebody needs to man up and his name is gonna be James Harrison. Done.

o btws

^ Only storm i give a damn about

^ found that while looking for halle berry nude... god loves me

NICHOLAS CAGE WilD N Out

2011-02-01T10:20:00.000-05:00

hes fucking hilarious. nick cage should be in every movie.

NSFW Kacey Jordan, Crack, Charlie Sheen, Nude Pics, MIley Cyrus, Demi Lovato, Brett Favre Penis Rehab,

2011-02-01T01:28:00.001-05:00

The secret to getting more blog hits is posting naked pictures of famous women. I only realized this when I saw that the post from last year about ALExis Dziena was far and away the most viewed ever. then i saw that the exact google search terms that refferred the greatest number of people to the blog were "alexis dziena nude" From here on out i think it is important that this blog no longer bullshit about feelings, music, sports, any of that nonsense. just buzzwords like naked pics, demi lovato, miley cyrus, lindsay lohan, jWoWW, etc. the exception would of course be brett favre and his penis, which combines sport and famous nudity.

"I cant believe how popular i can make a blog LOLZ"

top left: "dam u have a stupid hat"

RiPPPEd

love/hate me some jersey shore
Blogs are all about popularity. need to be higher up on google image search.

PUTDATEAMONMYBACK

2011-01-30T22:37:00.001-05:00

Commentators are so fucking bad

Instead of all those clowns fucking around at their big desk, wearing suits and shit like they have a real job, it should be more like this. especially football with its numerous and long lulls (lulz?) in actual shit happening. they just fill up the time with meaningless talk that they probably think sounds knowledgable. "in this kind of situation it would be less advantageous to have a negative gain circumstance for the offense of the green bay packers" some kind of really convoluted statement that probably didnt need to be made. My favorite commentator of all sports is probably ANdy Gray

he really is good though. in regards to a cristiano ronaldo blatant dive "he went down like he was shot by a sniper" the thing about women linesmen is kind of funny. i feel bad they got fired or whatever.

Music Wurd Joaks

2011-01-30T14:39:00.001-05:00

I have two cute kitty cats and two old dogs at home. The one cat is so special she jumps up on the book shelf using her Cat power. She is really Feisty. They all get along so well I think that they have formed an Animal collective. maybe they will invite a Caribou to join.

ON a serious note though, I really think Charlie Sheen kills it.

it makes sense that he is on a show as dumb as 2.5 men. he is probably mad effed up all the time, and totally fucking hungover. I have never really seen more than 3 minutes of 2.5 men, and i dont know anything about acting. as far as i can tell acting on sitcoms doesnt have to be good, people sort of just shoot off dumb jokes. some more serious sitcoms like ones from england, or conceptual things like arrested development, those require some acting maybe. but again i dont really know. Either way Charlie (real name Carlos estevez) Sheen is hilarious. he and his bro EMILIO should make a movie. about why seinfeld blows.

NSFW watchin porn NSFW

2011-01-28T15:12:00.005-05:00

saw the funniest ad while watching porn today...

"my dick is now 10" long! I dont give a shit about anything...I just FUCK women all day. every day." (Note: they said woman rather then women, quite barbaric)

no homo

see

kinda feel like thats an exaggeration. Not necessarily the size of the dick cuz it does look like a big dick but the fact that he doesnt do anything but fuck. ANd if this were true kinda feel like id be kinda bummed. like u know how green day has that song that everyone use to listen to in elementary school and they say "masturbation's lost its fun" (totes never thought that could happen as a kid. Totes thought they were just crazy pop punkers trying to be all rebellious and just say things like masturbation and fun.) but kinda think now that im becoming... whats it called... ma...ture??? or something, and i realize u cant just masturbate all day.

probs feel like if u fuck all day ur dick might start to hurt and u might wanna do something else like eat and shit .

feel like a 10 inch dick prob makes chick not want to fuck all day too. cuz their vag prob gets all tired.

prob most importantly though, just a reminder to all my bros out there, even without a 10 inch dick... u dont have to give a shit about anything

mind soooo numb

2011-01-27T13:37:00.004-05:00

as antony said to cleopatra as he opened a crate of ale oh i say....

2011-01-25T23:07:00.000-05:00

instead of bitching about one's parents and shit like "quit nagging at me". "I'M a disappointment? what have you ever done?" "I'M lazy!?" "would you ever fuck off?" "You advised me poorly mom and dad"its time to get real. i think hating your parents is for lamestreamers and baby boomers (baby boomers are lamestreamers, but lamestreamers need not be baby boomers.) nope, the person who it is more authentic to hate than your parents is yourself. sure you can blame them for your own shortcomings (genetics, learned behavior, lifestyle, etc.) but in the end it is still you who is the disappointment. you are the one who has failed to match them. (unless you have. i scarcely think i know anyone who qualifies for that though, and those people make me feel bad bout myself so lets ignore them) i hate them for setting the bar high and judging me, but i hate myself for failing to best them. i suppose it might be time to give in and conform to a more mainstream lifestyle, free from ultraviolence and misery.
encyclopedia dramatica, my new wikipedia

I eFfin Hate white people.

2011-01-25T17:37:00.003-05:00

this fool i know once told me that ^ while midst the throes of near absolute inebriation (meaning his blood had basically become alcohol). At that point i argued with him awhile about what exactly a house is and how a person actually comes to have one. Althouhg that may sound inconsequential, its importance is paramount in any mind flooded with crooked I's.

Yet despite this unnamed american indian's adroitly persuasive arguments... not until recently have i come to finally agree with the aforementioned statement.

most things white poeple love suck. Flat out. Like tom brady and country music and romance and being all tentious and shit

unpaid internships are the dumbest things ever - a white creation implemented to make their white mature society of business and bureaucracy more exclusive and illogical. If somebody has an internship to learn about working, why do they gots to go to college, because aint that shit spose to prepare u for work or somethin like dat.

white people (specifically mature white people) also suck at enjoying life. For evidence see the following -

Fun things: dancing, singing, laughing/tellin jokes, boxing, smokin blunts, drinkin forties, chillin, playin sports, listening to good music, wearing cool clothes, being friendly, not being a stuck up priss

and all things mature white people dont do or straight up suck at

I think as long as u dont become a mature white person u might be safe from becoming a bland, robotic tool that old greedy ugly white people control and manipulate... but if u do... ur fuckin screwed

Audio Visual Support for why white people suck.

mormon jesus

2011-01-24T23:08:00.002-05:00

the harvest is past the summer is ended and we are not saved

2011-01-24T19:07:00.000-05:00

i have no money. that means i have enough money for gas, drinking, going out for pizza, my cell phone. and nothing else. i dont understand where other people get things. maybe they drink/smoke less than me. how can other people afford shit? i dont pay rent. if i had rent/mortgage i would never have any money. i think a decent standard of living, with morally responsible food, vacation and clothing purchases requires an income of easily 100k and up. if you want to live in a place with decent restaurants and shit, and ready access to clothing stores, that isnt a dirty city, you are f-d. shit is tough. some people i know have jobs and shit. like real ones. im pretty jealous. would totally love a crib w/o my parents. i hate dogs. we have 2. hate the lifestyle of blount rides. hate my parents.

i feel like many people had these feelings in high school. maybe now they love their parents? maybe they are more mature than me. idk. i feel like i need to attend the hater's ball. hate hate hate. its not just jealousy motivated though. some of it is also scornful. resent people whose lifestyle choices i find callous or immoral. (most of these people coincidentally have nicer cars than me)

Chappelles Show

The Playa Hater's Ball

www.comedycentral.com

Buy Chappelle's Show DVDs

Black Comedy

True Hollywood Story

This Is Why I Suck.

2011-01-21T09:22:00.005-05:00

ok obvi i dont suck, im mad hot, im the boss... oooh damn just saw a incredibly rotund booty walk behind my comp screen (you might be able to tell im a busy person, got no time for thinkin about what to write... new style is jsut stream of consciousness... its like freestyling, only my prose can be appreciated before someone announces, " whoa guys that was all freestyled... u know he didnt write any of dat shit down... i swear none of those rhymes were memorized... it was off the top of his head... damn i wanna suck his dick"

anyways this aint gonna be no self deprecating blog post about how i gots to be better at doin things and shit. instead im gonna blame all my bloggeresque flaws on other people (like my loved ones) and things (like dose tings that no one can control... like the weather)

first of all i just had to spend a fuckin year in another country where they dont even have internets.

(i went there btws... cliffs of moher, it was mad sweet and rainy and i was getting blown everywhich way... totes awesome)

yeha but so this place doesnt import any beers xcept bud. so every god damn pub, which are supposed to be plentiful (and they are) and dope (which they arent really), only serves about 5 different beers... only continually drinkable one, guiness.

and then the fuckers costed 4 quid. or whatev they call their goofy colored money.

But ireland was pretty. Dont understand why i gots to fly cross a massive ocean to go see something pretty. I live in fuckin merica.

Other reasons i recently suck: Everyones always naggin me an shit.

I dont get it, people can do things witout my approval. I havent recently been named lord of all mundane and logical processes.People should stop bothering me so i can do important things like... masterbate and play vid games and blog and shit.

fucking commercials. I hate fucking commericals theyre totes ruining my life. if i ever buy my own tv, im gonna git one that doesnt have commercials... fuck 3d i dont need another dimension, i need to first purify the 2 i got and therefore get rid of fuckin commercials... xcept when im drunk, they kinda funny when im drunk and r a welcome respite from tv shows that can get arduous and complicated.

um i hate food and how u gotta prepare it and make it all the time. and transportation and how u have to go somewhere to get somewhere, u cant just be there.

an learnin... what a pain, id rather remain ignorant... it makes my blogs better

THE WORST BLOGGER EVER

2011-01-10T19:19:00.000-05:00

THAT CHRISTOPHER P KOLODZJIESKI IS ONe lazy motherfucker. he has been busy with many other things and has neglected the internet. and dont buy his excuse that there is no internet at his house, or perhaps he was busy with school. no that asshole has been on his googlemachine cellphone for hours at a time learning his shit. or watching tv. whatveer. so many bloggable things have happened. a man shot a lot of people in a crazy place. poor michael vick lost. fuCK. so many fueg jams happened. this just wont stand.

In my exclusive private liberal arts school i took this class about languages and shit and how like the way someone talks is a product of like the specific region they are from, their background shit like that. but also alot of it is personal. you are the person who can create your own accent!. this doesnt mean you should waste this opportunity on faking an accent you think sounds cool. (british, outer burroughs thug, these are two i have heard people fake.) You have the opportunity to simply make up words, steal words, pronounce things like an idiot. and basically do whatever you want. It is like poetry every day, all the time. some people might say silicone like "Sill-eh-Cone" NOT ME. I like to say "Sill-Eh Cun" AND NOONE can stop me. its so cool. someone might be all butthurt, and thats ok, you may call them butthurt. BUT YOU COULD JUST say "TIGHT FACE" or "facehurter"

I may in fact have misunderstood the meaning of this exclusive and expensive class. it costed like fucking 5,000$$ or something and like mad few people were even allowed to take it.

I STOLE these SONGs FROM MY FRIEND

manliness and japanese commercials

2010-12-26T14:30:00.001-05:00

o they mix so perfectly, i dont know why but perhaps its the director's, nobuhiko obayashi, uncanny eye for the absurd, campy and idealistic pop imagery... or maybe its charles bronson, cuz hes a g and an american hero as shown through the death wish series.

either way, the recent old spice commercials are obviously derivative. and desperately put too much effort into recreating mandoms unparalleled degree of excellence

for more obayashi madness ... see House

everybody from new york lives in the suburbs

2010-12-25T23:20:00.000-05:00

I feel like this is mostly true. Only foreigners and provincial Americans live in the city. Kind of a gross overstatement but the odds of hearing a new York accent are probably better in long island or westchester than Manhattan. I guess large parts of the outer boros are exempt. True grit was sick, need to rewatch the john Wayne one and see which is better. I got food poisoning and have been largely bedridden for the Christmas. Whatever, Christmas is a humbug.

Vincent LaGuardia Gambini

2010-12-17T23:58:00.000-05:00

How good is My Cousin Vinny. SO fucjking good. Fred Gwynne just kills it. Marisa Tomei seems to be made out of charisma. Obvi Joe Pesci, hes great. shit even the prosecutor guy is great. what a heartwarming, funny, silly movie. i mean marisa tomei is just the best. her petulant guidette w/ playful goodnaturedness and sharp wit is just fantastic. ralph macchio does nothing whatsoever, but thats fine. i cant say enough good things about the movie: my cousin named vinny.

Marisa Tomei still fueg

Fred Gwynne smoking weed while in his Munster makeup

Joe Pesci in an outtake from MCV

Ralph Macchio in the present Day

As an aside i had a teacher who was like Ralph Maccio's uncle.

Ralph Macchio's uncle "mr. macchio" was in his final year as a teacher, the year i had him, and he had largely given up. he just told stories about growing up in the bronx and taking the el to yankee stadium and seeing mickey mantle and shit like that. at christmas he sang "dominic the donkey" on the PA system. he fucking nailed it tho.

carlos's addiction

2010-12-11T21:57:00.002-05:00

wooooooooooooooooooooooooo (shes 18 now guys... woooooooooooooooooooooooooo)

So this is Christmas

2010-12-08T19:26:00.000-05:00

John Lennon was pretty chill, I think. Of all of the beatles, he and Ringo Starr seem the chillest. Paul McCartney seems like a tightface prick, and George Harrison seems largely inconsequential. It is really difficult to acknowledge the Beatles for anything, because they are one of the darlings of almost all lamestreamers. In fact i will not be saying anything positive about the Beatles as a group, or their music here, so don't get it twisted. John Lennon did the Christmas song, which i heard on the radio today, which i guess is appropriate every year given the anniversary of his death, and the fact that Christmas is coming up.

yeah it's a nice song. Christmas is anything but chill. It would be way chiller if it were like a more religious Thanksgiving. It should be like Thanksgiving: I am thankful that baby Jesus was born so that he could later die, and in doing so save me and everyone else. That was pretty nice of him. Even though baby Jesus is reported to have recieved stupid, expensive, and largely useless gifts, I doubt this actually occurred. I think the whole bit about the presents was inserted later by some kind of retail lobby. Christmas is when all of the evil corporations in the world team up to act like it is normal or appropriate to go into debt, so that consumer goods might be given to people you know or are related to.

I imagine Baby Jesus was thinking "would you fuck off with the groveling and the presents, now this is awkward. I'm related to GOd, why the fuck would I need some stupid shit like frankensence and myrrh. ok gold whatever, im not some fucking guido. Seriously, I being a part of the trinity and all that don't give a shit about your presents I could just make whatever I want with my godly powers"
This is the essentially stupid part about gifts. Why act like gift buying is commuting or somehting. on the radio theyre like "for all of you out there doing your holiday shopping, blah blah gettin it in." making excuses for excess is just sad, but normalizing it is practically evil. If the present is everything a person could ever want, great, now they are spoiled and indulged like a goddamn prince(ess). If the gift sucks and they hate it, now they feel guilty for hating a gift. How long do you wait before getting rid of it? Do you need to wear the shitty, ugly clothing in front of the gift giver (I fucking wish Santa would be enforced aka anonymity, not like even when u were 8 u didnt know. This lamestream gift is from relative x or whatever, if santa were magic and real wouldnt better taste come with that?) Unfortunately most people are probably callous and unfeeling, conditioned by advertisements and Christmas specials to worship the gifts they want (narcissism/greed) And as such they wouldnt even feel guilty if I, on purpose, got them a terrible gift to make them feel bad. People wouldn't even feel guilty for recieving a gift. Fucking assholes. Im still down for the decorations and shit though. Hallelujah.

Topics for perspire

2010-12-07T18:16:00.000-05:00

I'm am looking at a lumberjack. His beard is a mix off fall colors in
the sun. His hair become ruffled as he rubs his head. He texts until
he cannot text no more. Yet he sits, stares, and smiles at his
smarphone because he a mute to the world.

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if only i was born yesterday ... for serious

2010-12-01T22:13:00.001-05:00

deion sanders mentors over a hundred people (whom he calls his kids) and he sends a motivational text to them all every morning. these people include vick and ray lewis. That is wild. vick and ray lewis are mad crazy to begin with and now with primetime calling the shots im worried... but in a good way.

we know ray and vick are fuckin champs and dont need no support to kick ass at football but what about fools that were young and deion mentored and now are ridiculously promising... devin hester, dez bryant, michael crabtree, i think those three names shows that deion knows what hes doin. also the fact that these guys dont give a shit about authority and are all willing to dispute their contracts for unreasonably long periods of time and try and make ridiculous amounts of money just like their mentor shows that he is teaching em good morals and ethics and other meaningless crap

though to be honest, im slightly concerned about deion... and that he is building an army of super athletic strong willed monsters (or ceos not employees as he put it) and im gonna be too damn old and lazy to be a part of it.

hes making a private school that focuses on sports and learning. Cuz he knows a good athlete is a smart one. (I heard it on the T. Ocho Show - an amazingly budget but watchable tv show that is shit wrapped in seaweed and sprinkled with caviar)
Deion, after blowing T.O. for awhile, plugged his burgeoning boarding school (inspired by his youth football teams) - TRUTH (he was wearing the hoodie, im getting one)
Its an acronym and stands for some brilliant maxims... the T is Trust in god.

MuSiC iS mYy LiFe

2010-12-01T17:29:00.000-05:00

The importance of music is generally overstated. People used to say on their myspace profiles things like: “music is my life” “i can't live without music” shit like that. Well I think they are full of shit. Things like “breathing is my life” or “i love all different kinds of water except country” would be more appropriate. For some people music really is a big deal, those people who are good at playing/composing it. But for other people who are good at listening to music? Fuck off. Music is a great tool of marketers, and indeed music is a [failing] business. Throughout the last half century music consumption was marketed and sold as a means towards coolness and establishment of a personal brand. Indeed music must be described as one of the greatest marketing successes of all time. A great deal of people partially if not completely define their very existence as a human being by their taste in music, which is, at the same time, a consumer good. No one ever defines themself by their choice in laundry detergent. “i love liquid detergent” or on the about me of their social networking profile “im really into hypoallergenic laundry powder” I don't hate music or anything, I often listen to it in the car, or when I am playing beer pong. I'm just saying, some people take it a bit seriously, like its some big fucking deal what kind of music you listen to. I care about as much about the coolness of music as I do about the coolness of socks. In fact getting all worked up about your personal taste in a consumer good is just silly. Sure it is important, but let's keep it all relevant.

if u think your choice in music makes you cool, you actually look like this. With a matrix comic sans font. honestly. I dont even feel bad if music as a viable business fails, and there is no more mariah carey style 10000x platinum artists ever again. and fuck the rolling tones too. in fact i hope it does. no more music biz. just 3D movies, cable news and internet porn, the only choices for corporate entertainment.

leslie nielsen did a great wesley willis

2010-11-29T21:29:00.003-05:00

tried to write some crap about what a bummer it is that he died. Shit just sounded like some 60 min news update. We all know naked gun and airplane were mad good cuz of his stylish delivery. We all know he had dashingly good looks. But do we really know how much a g leslie nielsen was.
Forbidden planet was cool and all but he pioneered the art of acting like an unaware moron. Surprising how that shtick works in both movies and life .

oohh... what do i wish for more, to be in a sf movie with the first ever entire electronic soundtrack or be in a movie with oj simpson.

Harry Potter Gets it IN: A Review of HP 7 part I

2010-11-26T18:41:00.000-05:00

It was only in this most recent viewing of HP that I became aware of the freudian nature of all that wand waving. A wand is a wizard's greatest tool. He needs it all the time, to perform spells and assert his wizarding masculinity. Indeed the enhanced steakheadedness of both Ron (who is looking like Ronnie from jersey shore) and H fuckin P seems out of place. Wizards don't need to be muscley to compensate for something they may or may not be lacking, they can just get the most DIESEL wand.

Isnt it curious how the word “wand” is so close to the word “wang”? Maybe it is not a coincidence. Indeed the source of Dumbledore's power and respect in the magical community is revealed to be (amongst other things) his possession of the “ELdEr WAnD” a ludicrously large and potent wand of fine vintage. In modern vernacular it would be called the “daddy dick”, while magic peoples reverentially refer to it as the “deathstixxx” The female wizards, hereto-forth known as “witches” or in the modern vernacular “wiccans” have reached a satisfying conclusion for the freudian problem of penis envy: they are allowed to buy their own functional Wan(g)d. Indeed when Voldemort (V-mort) needs to use another wand, he goes after the guy he knows to be a big punk, Malfoy dad, but even he was like “seriously bro? You need my WAND?, I kinda wanted to keep that you know, for future use”

I think that when I read the books the wand imagery wasnt as prevalent, but in this movie there more wands on display than an NFL locker room. There were other awesome parts of the movie though; how sick was that Brown Bunnyesque scene in the woods where HP and Emma Watson were all naked and shit. Speaking of Hermione; hasnt she kind of eclipsed the other 2 in terms of stardom? Daniel “the world's most wooden and awkward dancer” Radcliffe should count his lucky motherfuckin stars that he got to be in 8 such fine movies. And Rupert Grint, how shamelessly you have abused steroids, do you want to be a ginger version of the rock or something? The house elfs are every bit as annoying as Jar Jar Binx. I hate emotional scenes with fake ass CGI characters, I wanted to laugh when the tiny weird looking thing died in HP's arms, it looked so dumb.

The funniest bit probably is how easily HP and co. get swooped by the snatchers. V-mort himself rolls up on Harry like a flying beast from hell, shooting death spells at him, and Harry casually is like “oh shit dogg, fuck off” But when some fucking euro-trash gangsters jump out from behind a tree HP is completely surprised, and easily bundled into a burlap sack. It was funny then how worried and shit Malfoys dad was. He was all like “if we F this one up v-mort is totally gonna F us in the A”

I wish magic was real so much. I would love to lay on the couch, pull out the eLdAr WaND and holler “accio oreos” or as one good friend said “accio fleshlight” and it would come flying out of giggles and right into his basement. That is the power of magic.

For Tim

2010-11-17T16:47:00.000-05:00

Gabrielle sayeth: This is just too much.

Carlos respondeth: Not quite enough actually...

Nicholas thinketh: When will it ever be enough.

all that text message shit/fml is over

2010-11-16T13:38:00.000-05:00

c'mon son! check title links. i have a good one. i drank 2 cans of 4loko then for the rest of the weekend i ate a crunchwrap, an xxl chalupa, burrito, mcrib, fries, bagel with cream cheese, italian combo wedge, another italian combo wedge, bacon/egg, buttered roll (x100) 2 butterfingers, 3 musketeers, snickers, indian buffet: tandoori, sag paneer, fucking all that shit veg. korma. the bottom line is that 4 loko will cause you to eat only the most retarded food, and in mass quantities. thats its most devastating effect. after drinking mass 4loko, u cant even take respite in baloney, your brain is too melted in half. only t-bell which is the new jumpin off point. i mean t-bell is bananasas, everything there tstes the same. they all contain the same shit: ground beef, cheese, mexico sauce (btw how hotfire was ron mexico last night? thats right http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ron_Mexico.) and now they have the new mexico verde sauce: #countit.

this picture of mike vick, taken in asia, displays a common t-bell menu offering there: live puppy on a bun covered in mustard.

amish people and matching shirts

2010-11-10T21:23:00.004-05:00

recently i set forth on an expedition one would only take with close friends (or grandparents, they loves this shit), in which we ventured into the rural wilderness of pa and observed the strange phenomenon called the amish. Crazy fuckers thats for sure. But even before entering true amish country we (a gaggle of misguided, yet undeniably handsome youths) experienced soemthign even more perplexing than the mindless torture amish folks choose to endure.

we entered the thudadome

yeahhh, it was a buffet and there were enough people there to fill at least two football fields, or more specifically two of their massive banquet halls. It was intimidating as fuck. i felt like a stoned fifteen year old boy, and i new i would not be able to eat as much as these champions of the country lifestyle. So after sitting for three hours and failing to eat more than 1 and half whole chickens worth of pork, beef and polish sausage, we decided we should stop making cup pyramids and phone videos and instead venture into the gift shop.

the gift shop spanned the entire bottom floor. probably analogous to the mutated love child of a menage a trois between home goods, marshalls megastore, and crate and barrel.

but like any group of good friends we endured and rummaged through the store, hugged stuffed animals, played with wind chimes and weird musical dioramas, tried on way too many tshirts, and of course bought matching tshirts... two sets.

flag on the play...

2010-11-07T15:37:00.000-05:00

tv ads are insane.

super cereal?

i dont know i cant find the one with a big fat football player snoring because he drank a bottle of nyquil.

im not even going to bother finding the one that accuses people in focus groups of being "donut eaters" disparagingly. and then the one where mike ditka lambasted this one guy for not buying his turn. then there was this ad for like 60 minutes where they didnt identify manny pacquiao by name but rather "this smiling boxer" i dont understand really. immediately after comes the ad for the pcquiao v. margarito fight. television is mad ignorant. i was at broadway pizzza yesterday the little cockeyed guy with the glasses always used to have glen beck on the radio, now he has that motherfucker on tv. come on son. im trying to enjoy pizza without hearing the pink skinned, cop haircut glen beck, who hates blacks, loves the ficticious character "god" and wants to murder everyone who disagrees with him. in short i am boycotting broadway from now on.

the audacity!

2010-11-05T10:32:00.001-04:00

loudly slammin a pack of newps against your open palm in the middle of a college campus is basically analogous to gettin totes drunk in some european club while slurfully pleading the dj to put on the latest mashup of kanye jamz and nirvanas rape me.

and let me clarify... i do not in anyway sympathize with this ignorant person. In fact im pretty pissed off that shes offerin up her minty delicious newp while im trying to be all studious like and get to that fuckin library. I see her standin by herself waiting for someone to chat her up but i also know that if ur that desperate to give away ur fresh desirable delights then u gotta be one hell of a lame ass person.

thus i stay away from them types. just like i stay away from slutty women.

when satan tempted jesus a whole bunch in that desert... i betya he used newports

PAARTY TIME

2010-11-03T18:52:00.000-04:00

At 5:27 a.m. Saturday, Yonkers police Officers Frank Califano and John Tyndal were on Nepperhan Avenue near Roberts Avenue when they heard several cars in front of them blowing their horns, Yonkers police Detective Sgt. Patrick McCormack said.

The cars went around a 2006 Nissan Pathfinder that was stopped at a green light.

The officers saw Stoby sleeping in the Pathfinder. There was an open bottle of Heineken beer between his legs and empty bottle of Hennessy in the car, police said. Stoby had his foot on the brake and the car was in drive, McCormack said.

One officer opened the passenger side door and put the car in park.

The officers then woke him.

Police said Stoby punched Califano in the face while sitting in the driver's seat, then struggled violently with the officers who tried to arrest him, McCormack said.

After Stoby was subdued police found a small bag of cocaine in his jacket.

imagine how fun that night was, until the cops pummeled the shit out of him. whenever you see the paper and it says like "man arrested after struggle with Yonkers cops" the guy has like a black eye, broken nose, 25 stitches, etc. they clearly go to town with their billy clubs. but seriously, it was 5.27 AM. he should have just parked his car at the sanitation garage and slept it off for like 3 hours, then drove home. maybe he was on his way there, idk. he must have been so fucking close to crashing the whole ride, like fucking comatose drunk. and once he hit a stoplight he just passed out, mad funny, bc everyone knows the only victims of drunk driving are the poor drunks who have to pay all those fines and shit.

tHE BoSs

2010-11-01T19:05:00.001-04:00

"I'm going to go ahead and start this thing off. I'm going to go ahead and say this. I think I said something a couple weeks ago. Look, I got fined $25,000 for not speaking to you all. Me personally, I really don't care. But at the same time, I do answer questions throughout the week. For the league to fine me $25,000, I'm not going to answer any more questions for the rest of this year. If it's going to be an interview, I'm going to conduct. So I'll answer my own questions. I'll ask myself the questions, then give y'all the answers. So from here on out, I'm not answering any more questions for the rest of this season. Enough said of that, now we'll get to the game.

"Let me hold it down. Alright. I really haven't had a chance to talk to the guys, so this is no disrespect to the Minnesota Vikings and their organization. The captains, Wilfolk, Tommy Boy, Mayo, Kevin Faulk, man I miss them guys, man, I miss the team. It was hard for me to come here and play. It's been an up and down roller coaster emotionally for me all week. And then to be able to come in here and see those guys, running plays and I know what they're doing, and the success they had on the field, the running game, so I kind of know what type of feeling they have on their locker room, man. I just want to be able to tell the guys, I miss the hell out of them, every last helmet in that locker room.

"I mean, Deion Branch came up to me after the game. I've never had a chance to meet Deion Branch, but it was definitely a pleasure to meet him. Coach Belichick, he gave me an opportunity to be a part of something special. That's something I really take to heart. I actually salute Coach Belichick and his team and the success they've had before me, during me and after me. So I'm actually stuck for words, just because of the fact that, man, this is just, a lot of memories here. To the New England Patriots fans, that ovation at the end of the game, that really felt heart-warming. I think I actually shedded a tear for that.

"Like I said, it's been an emotional roller coaster all week. Tried to prepare, tried to talk to the players and coaches about how this game was going to be played, couple tendencies here and a couple tendencies here. The bad part about it, is you have six days to prepare for a team, and on the seventh day, that Sunday, meaning today, I guess they come over and say, 'Dag Moss, I guess you was right about a couple plays and a couple schemes they were going to run.' And it hurts as a player, that you put a lot of hard work in during the week, and at the end of the week, Sunday, when you get on the field, that's when they acknowledge about the hard work that you put in throughout the week. That's actually a disappointment.

"I can't really say enough about this team and this organization. I met with Mrs. Kraft before the game because I really didn't have a chance to talk to her before I left. I thanked Mrs. Kraft for letting me have the opportunity to be a part of something special. The New England Patriots have always been a special organization and I've always watched from afar.

"When I got drafted by Minnesota, and I think I said this a couple weeks ago, I think I felt obligated to bring a Super Bowl to Minnesota. And this season is still not over. Do I know what next season and the future is going to bring? No, I do not. But all I can say is that it's a lot of work that we leave on the field each day.

"There is a lot of film study that we leave in that room each day. I know how hard these guys work in New England and the only thing that I really tried to do was take what the best coach in football history has brought upon me, or the knowledge that he's given me about the game of football, and I tried to sprinkle it off to the guys the best way I know how. So I'm going to go ahead and end this interview, I have my family to see.

"Definitely down that we lost this game because I didn't expect us to lose this game knowing that we had a few things that we had to clean up. But like I said, they played a good game. I wish we could have had that three at the end of the half. Maybe it could have been different. Maybe not. I don't know how many more times I'm going to be up here in New England, but I'm going to leave the New England Patriots, Coach Belichick, man, with a salute. Man, I love you guys. I miss you. I'm out."

More to Come

2010-10-28T20:03:00.003-04:00

first note of importance:

Who the fuck are lady antebellum and what the fuck are they doin at the world series?

("WHOOO AMMM IIII?" - thats what the one guy on the left there is pondering)

Second note of importance:

dump.fm is ridiculous
i could go on for hours about this shit and i prob will/have. What i find most baffling is the many communal forums and fads and niches that im not immediately a part of upon their inception

third note of importance:

susan sontag is a bitch but with mad smarts. probably a modern contemporary of hers seeing as my elitist insight on society and culture is unparalleled.

fourth note of importance:

was abstaining from writing for a while. I know, bitch move, but i had reasons and one of them was contemplating changin the blog url. and its gonna happen. so get ready.

once it happens ill tell u.
i swear.

fifth and final note of importance:

art - the meaning of life?/ the only thing meaningful in life?
... more to come

the importance of being jordan

2010-10-26T21:02:00.000-04:00

what is raw. is anything as authentic as this composition by john tesh? are post-modern baseball stadiums awful (the answer is yes, an architect cannot dream up quirks that come off as unique, especially not in the greatamericanenronciti ballpark-field) have spectator sports peaked? the nba is saved only by the badassery of the celtics, noone likes kobe bryant, or phil jackson, they may as well be kenneth lay and paul wolfowitz. lebron james is like tiger woods, a big sleazy pile of shit, who sucks dick at talking and has nothign interesting to say. baseball lacks dynamism. thank god for rex ryan, but he only comes to the public consciousness due to televiosn, not a tabloid newspaper, so only kindof awesome. college sports are obviously a joke, as dumb as putting the little league world series on tv. what are we left with? i dont even care about tennis anymore. there is no punishment like watching golf. i think spectator sports are at a crisis point. i guess the world cup was sick can't lie.

congestion

2010-10-26T20:47:00.000-04:00

i cant breathe out of my nose. i was just chillin on the couch reading the new yorker, and shit but then i came to starbucks where i am now. bob dylan music is playing, bob dylan is complete shit, sometimes i wonder if bob dylan's entire career is one huge hoax, like joachin pheonix's rap career but on a grander scale. maybe there will be a movie where its a documentary about the hoax. i just heard one of the people working here go increduclously "what is this song?" implying that it is shit and his lameass harmonica playing is a joke. it is so amateurish and silly. my god he fucking suxks. today i read a thing bout keith richards. what a fucking clown. baby boomers are easily the worst kind of people. their self-importance is insane. there are a whole bunch of old people playing some game that looks like scrabble or some shit. they have like little domino things and a rack/holder for them. and they are in starbucks. do they not have houses? why cant they just go to thr bar like regular grown folks. clowns.

DONT STOP ME NOW: a story of love and loss with my local cable/internet cartel

2010-10-13T19:29:00.000-04:00

whatever, the fucking internet stopped working, then my mom was like come by and fix that shit, but the motherfucker was scheduled to come between like 6AM and 4PM friday, never showed up, called at liek 4.30 sayin they would come on MONday, mom freaked out said DONT BOTHER IM FUCKING CANCELING THE SERVICE YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE. so now i dont have any internet. on the plus side comcast know what fucking pieces of shit they are though.

The Fallacy of Social Networking, or why your internets fwends don't mean shit

2010-10-13T19:20:00.000-04:00

Everyone is abuzz about the SOcial Network (or was a week ago) What great acting, what great writing. assuming that the movie is basically as truthful as a history channel reenactment (aka mad truth) the whole conception and creation of "the spacebook" is immoral and untruthful. i know certain things being immoral doesn't preclude their widespread use or occurrence (wal-mart, religion, paying taxes to the corrupt American government, etc.) But still, no one touts wal mart or religion as the key to their maintenance of acquaintenceships from college. "oh i said hi to you at a party, now we will be internet fwends fowevew" "i need to feed the incredible loser that is mark zuckerberg", a beast so hateful and lame that he created a website off of someone else's idea, just so that he would have fame and recognition. (clearly it isn't for the money that clown drives an old TSX, and dresses like he hates the thought of aesthetics, even tho he has mad loot) Back before facebook was merely myspace 2.0, back when you still had different networks, and even when you still had to actually be a college student, maybe then it was ok, now it is just a cleaner myspace. remember in the movie when m-zucks said some shit clearly disparaging myspace like "no fun shit like backgrounds or songs" well now facebook has all kinds of wack shit like farmville, suck a dick hypocrite. I am digressing, either way, m-zucks, douschebag, ripped off the brazilian and the winkleV0sses.
But with facebook and other such internets things widely assumed to be the future of interaction by lame-ass writers on the internet and in magazines, i would like to draw attention to malcolm Gladwell's article in the NEw Yorker While people can feel self important for joining a group on facebook saying "Save Darfur" they are doing FUCK all. it takes a top-down organized association of motivated persons to get shit done, i like where he says "facebook is just a tool to organize aquantences u can have 10000 facebook fwends like you clearly don't in real life". when he talks about the al-qaeda command thing versus loosely grouped/motivated social webs, i was reminded of this article, on khalid sheik mohhamed. but anyway, the bottom line is big shit poppin, lil shit stoppin, and facebook and whatnot are a big ole bunch of low-risk, meaningless, kiddy-time Little SHit.

How does it fEEL?

2010-10-07T21:22:00.003-04:00

...

-imagine if ur a kid who plays two sports all ur life. Soccer and baseball. U grow up in new york state and love the yankees. Ur father's from ireland and loves soccer playing and watchin and hes a huge liverpool fan. Now the sox ur arch nemesis of one sport buys ur fav team of the other sport.
-that sounds real shitty.
-if liverpool then starts to get their shit together can u cheer?
-Are they still ur team even though beneath their shield is an ugly ugly truth?
-can u be happy for new success?
-or must u always be upset because in one year u lost a brilliant owner for one of ur fav teams and then gained a detested owner for ur other?

=

im guessin that this sucks. but to be honest i dont really know cuz soccer's for pansies and baseball is rigged, so i dont watch that trash

an examination of internet social networking

2010-10-07T11:24:00.000-04:00

Now I'm on my blueberry at trabajo city but later an investigation of computer stuff and other forms of nerdery will happen. Noone will be spared the withering gaze I plan on throwing their direction. Oh and congrats roy halladay, that's what happens when u go from the AL east to the NL.

OMG

2010-10-06T19:48:00.001-04:00

yeah cliff lee was good...

but ...omg

YOU COULDNT SEE ME IN THE DAYTIME W/ a FLASHLIGHT

2010-10-04T16:29:00.000-04:00

is Uniqlo the Japanese H&M, or is H&M the Swedish Uniqlo. are they both indebted to the gap? are uniqlo and H&M both inordinately popular? I think people might be believing the hype, contrary to Chuck D's advice. that fucking place is mad crowded (uniqlo, h&m needs a new big name collaboration to rejuvenate their hype) i get it, it's cheap and they have like nice clothes and shit at old navy prices.

but i cant have GRID i only fuckworded with bubble's sidekick from the wire.

one of these kind of collaborations

crawling through the SubBourbon SPPRawwlll

2010-10-01T12:59:00.003-04:00

probably the best title i ever came up with.
it really describes everything about the suburbs.

life in the city is so quick becuase of the density of people and businesses and activities. Its impossible to move slowly cuz ull get swallowd up by the waves of people and movement and chaos.

The suburbs by definition are spread out and open and terribly designed. Residential land consumes everything so there no longer is property of importance or worth to anyone except the miserable family that lives on it. u cant walk on the streets cuz their filled with cars, u cant walk on the sidewalks cuz there arent any, and u cant walk on the grass cuz u'll get yelled at and then bit by some assholes dog.

so instead we are stuck in tiny towns where people instead of speed walking, crawl slowly from one appointment to the next without ever serving a purpose.

its mad sweet cuz it packs all the tweens into one town square as if they were sheep fenced in a pen.

today i saw a chick in her new ugg boots, tight jeans, and black softball (or other generic female sport) sweatshirt. It had her name on the back like they do on the butt of their sweatpants alot. Her name was WARSAVVAGE.

No fuckin joke.
I am so jealous
Im pretty close to marrying that girl. or at least askin if she has sisters.

Possible new nom de plume...
- I. G. Warsavvage
as in , I am a G and a fucking War Savage

call me mac rappalicious

2010-09-28T18:58:00.002-04:00

where is the best of everything? the suburbs. it's true. and possibly small cities in upstate NY, but probably just the suburbs. and not the kind of suburbs where the houses are on top of each other and you can't even swim in your pool naked or have outdoor raves all night. the worst ever might be new york city. its so crowded, hot, expensive, hard to get around, full of people, and scarcely any regular people. almost everyone is a crackhead, selling cds, a foreigner, or is my peer from liberal arts school. i suppose old people do old people things and live in fancy parts, and go to fancy things, otherwise they fall into the other demographics. i want to start a new trend, im trying my fucking dammndest, along with some dedicated co-trendstarters. it's called living in the suburbs with a college degree and chilling. lots of people move to the city, but wheres the fun in that. sure there's lots of other people and shit and bars and things, but if everyone just went to the fun places nearish to cities wouldnt it be chill? if noone moved into the city anymore than all the chilling would take place in the suburbs and it would be cheap, and free of crackheads and shit like that.

U might even have as much fun as these typical suburban teenagers

utube, u r my savior

2010-09-25T15:13:00.002-04:00

since i graduated and didnt learn nething (specially spelling, no spelling class what the fucks that about, i probs woulda aced dat shit) ive been trying to find some way to learn stuf.

like lots of stuf.
and then i realized i have the ultimate tool stolen from alein technology at my fingertips, the internet! (more specifically youuutuuube/wikipedia).

it really proves how good natured humanity is. hundreds of thousands of peeps loading how to videos on the web just to educate my couch bound, lazy ass. ALbeit these folks are probs mad bored, lonely and harboring some intense feeling of worthlessness, but alas we have the internet and their loneliness and my stupidity can be unified and thus nullified.

shes great

wish i learned this in college...
or at least wish my roommate did...
OMG ROFL LMAOS LULZ

ps: my recent title links have been straight fire

new eminem is the new creed

2010-09-22T23:23:00.000-04:00

i love creed, but eminem's new vaguely uplifting, yet morbid, anthemic singles are in the same vein as creed. i imagine the same impulses that make people buy the last few eminem albums (besides the strength of his prior work) are very similar to the impetus behind buying creed albums like 8 years ago or whenever those were really popular. the only difference being i would not ever want to listen to a song where eminem tells rihanna to "look me in the eyeball" whereas i can fucking rock out to 6 feet from the edge.

i wish u were still fat and making songs like ass like that...
maybe creed will have an album called relapse because of scott stapp's drinking problem lulz

2010-09-21T23:22:00.000-04:00

when i read that last post it sounded kind of ruthless. i dont really want the little kids to become gg allin, i just wish their parents wouldnt spoil them. and maybe the little girl fashion blogger really is great, im just in with the skeptics.

cool babies

2010-09-21T23:19:00.000-04:00

little kids arent allowed to be cool. a little kids can be a nice kid but they cant be a billy badass. a little kid who acts like, or thinks they are: unique, a billy badass, smart, interesting, or anything else is definitely just a spoiled little shit. because i find out about contemporary culture from the best source ever (the new yorker) i might be kind of behind the times on this baby fashion blogger. when i read this article though, i was just disgusted. count me along with the other people who find nothing remarkable about an over-indulged tween who is fawned over by people who lead meaningless lives. first page of the new yorker profile she is shown sitting in her room with her eclectic style and taste (mad records and shit, based on the article im assuming its a "vintage" dress, comme des garcon shoes or whatever, edward gorey book) but guess what else, tucked away in the corner is a burned cd labeled "arcade fire" this i believe is an "entry level alt" musical act, which may or may not be featured in rolling stone. in regards to shopping at salvation army she says "some people say its so gross. u dont kno whos been wearing this shit. im like exactly!" WOWOW this is worthy of a new yorker article. a spoiled rich kid of older, intellectual type parents enjoys shopping at thrift stores STOP THE FUCKING PRESS RIGHT NOW< THIS CERTAINLY MUST BE A NEW PHENOMENON!!!!

there are lots more indulged little children. i think their parents are inordinately impressed by them, which makes the kiddies think they actually are somehow special. it is also very common at ski mountains, where hordes of loud little cabbage patch kids yell about their gnarly fucking moves. how about they man up and start drinking and taking drugs the moment they wake up in the morning, then move into a dirty apartment with creepy older drug addicts. until then i wont be impressed. same with the fashion baby. suffer for the art. your norwegian artist hebrew teaching mother needs to become frightened of you for you to really get avante garde.

I'll see your SWeEt TuUnEs and raise you, MorRE SWeet TOonS

2010-09-18T16:56:00.002-04:00

- honestly for the longest time i forgot that music was broadcasted by things other than a hypem and an ipod.

until one fateful day when i accidentally pushed some buttons on my dashboard and the fm receiver changed stations to somethign other than my ipod hookup. So mcuh fuckin static i thought i broke the damn thing. But than i heard some music and realized that if u have a good station, the radio is fuckin dope.

wprb - princeton radio station use to listen to that shit, than went to ColLEgE and forgot about its sweetness. now i can stream that shit on my computer and have someone else make decisions for me. Some people got some good taste (death of tango with pablo, Slow Food with Dj Diana Dipset, double plus good with lizbot) , other people suck like (best of uk with scott einhorn - he claims people dont like coldplay solely for appearances sake)

Now on to the jams

sick

some cramps with betty page... nice combo

found this while looking for can your pussy do the dog
chicks are pretty fuckin crazy. ANd there are a startling amount of youtube videos of normal-like chicks strippin and shit. thats kinda weird. but kinda sweet

All that other shit was entertaining and funny but this last shit is actually untouchable... like honestly how can u make a better song/singer. the hottest finest awesomest

What is another name for the national league?

2010-09-17T22:48:00.000-04:00

A 16 team tournament to lose to the Yankees. the fucking AL east is so good toronto would probably be winning the NL wildcard. or at least have a shot. damn i digress alot (ochocinco page whatever) The "senior circuit" is a bunch of bullshit, they have been sucking the AL's d basically since like 1903, back when major league games lasted around 90 minutes and only took place during daylight. On the radio they are having a dipset weekend, and in november there is a dipset reuniion concert. im OMEGA pumped.

how good is this fucking song? I got it from the website that was/is? this website's preeminent phillie's fan homepage. they were doing a best songs of the 90s thing. (p-fork)(n. goersky)

But this one im claiming some measure of credit for. theres a dancey one thats sick.

DJ's a soccer players???

2010-09-16T11:36:00.001-04:00

kinda thought baseball was a gentlemans sport. Kinda thoguht you didnt fake getting hit in order to go to first base. Kinda thought you just tried to hit the ball.

(btws my youtube clips are getting mad underground. Their like the hippest of youtube videos. This one only has 338 views)

Does this count as a dive?

Jason Heyward told the umps when he got hit by a line drive on the bottom of his cleat. Hes a g. Kinda wish he was on the phillies. so he could experience the joy of winning the nl east and the pennant and the world series. Cuz thats what g's deserve.

(no shots fired tim)

Bachelor... in HELLLLLL! (alternate title... a weee bit of Real Talk)

2010-09-13T16:00:00.005-04:00

I recently had a dream and then awoke abruptly and in a moment of great inspiration scribbled on a torn off piece of papertowel the title of the first screenplay i would pen under the psuedonym James T. Kolodziejski (watch for it, I'm gonna blow up) . In a matter of seconds i fell back to sleep. I was obviously exhausted from spending so much mental energy conjuring up a dream of such epic proportions.
In the morning i awoke with a strong feeling of pride one might confuse with arrogance. However as my drowsiness wore off i recalled that my proud disposition was deserved as i had developed the idea for a masterpiece without even being awake. So i rummaged aroudn for the valuable piece of papertowel and alas i found it under some books and other things that intellectuals like myself keep on bedside tables. Not to my surprise at all, the title was eloquent, brief and daring. It was perfect.

It was THE TRAINRIDE TO HELL.

Its gonna be sick. Mad demons and goblins coming out of hidden compartments and traincars that slowly become more and more mindboggling warped as one descends deeper and nearer to the depths at whihc hell dwells... I might add some crazy twist at the end once filming begins kinda like my philly bro midnight shamalanny.

...

My awesome movie reminds me of this biopic I saw recently called Bachelor in Paradise.
Its about this guy Bob Hope and how he fucked around with a bunch of house wives cuz they all had meaningless lives and lived in shitty developments. It explains alot about how banal existence was in the 1950s and early 60s, and then draws a comparison to modern day. The many similarities between that backwards time perido and our own free, just, and democratic age helps to destroy the flawed, brainwash induced idea that we live in a progressive society. It also reminds us that any supposed progress is in fact deterioration of a dysfunctional community inspired by the understandably undisclosed necessity for death and desruction of many things human due to our overpopulation, pollution (environmentally and aethestically) and perversion of natural existence.

wikipedia

2010-09-11T13:13:00.000-04:00

im going to try to read every article. its so good. its fun to go on a wikipedia tangent. it starts off, youre just learning up about he master of alternative history, harry tutrltedove, but then youre like reading about some book he wrote and youre like no way this due was an actual real life character, then you look at his far-right security/paramilitary consultancy, and you see he helped out the greek military junta of 67-74. then you see that the junta didnt persecute the hippies at some island. and that jopni mitchell was inspired to write a song about said hippies and island and shit in 1971, after she visited.

ok ok ok im here

not tooo far of a stretch

we movin

ok ok

ok but it only took like 2 minutes. and i learnt so much.